The Earring

Book 4 Part 1

Myers Briggs called the opposing traits 'thinking' and 'feeling.' I felt this was quite appropriate, since I often told David that if he had feelings, they were buried deeply. On the other hand, he often told me that God gave me a brain so I could weigh the pros and cons of a situation before jumping into something based on how I 'felt' about it.

"What were you thinking, Syd?" was a familiar refrain.

"David, didn't you even consider how she might feel?" was my mantra.

When we were contemplating a move, the clash between thinking and feeling came to a head. I talked until I turned blue, but he wouldn't concede that factoring in the feelings of other people – like spouses and children – was a logical course.

Finally I'd agreed that we'd each make pro and con lists to use as mediation tools, because that is what David deemed the most logical way to make a decision. We sat down to negotiate, with lists in hand.

David looked at my list.

"What difference does it make how far we'll be from the grandparents?" he asked. "Wherever we are, they're going to find a way to visit."

"But the boys will feel abandoned if they don't get to see Maw and Paw very often. They're used to frequent visits."

"Sydney, that's not a logical reason to stay. You're going to make wimps of our sons."

"Are you a wimp? You lived across the street from your grandparents all of your life, and Maw Gilbert spoiled you rotten."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have been scarred for life if we'd moved."

"Well, what about your list. Your first item is salary. If God is calling us, we don't need to think about salary. He'll provide."

"He is the provider, Syd, but even the Bible teaches fiscal responsibility. Do you think God would bless us if we spent money foolishly and then went crying to Him for necessities?"

"We're not talking about spending anything foolishly, David. We're talking about whether salary should be a number one priority."

"I think it would be pretty foolish not to make it a top priority. God gave me the responsibility of providing for my family."

And so the discussion went. He talked about benefit packages, while I lamented having to leave friends behind. He lectured about the cost of the move and the proximity of the proposed new house to schools and grocery stores. I asked if there were many children our boys' ages in the neighborhood and moaned about having to leave my church family.

Finally I threw my hands up in surrender.

"Ok, ok," I said. "Have it your way. Of course yours is the only logical way. Who was it that drove completely around the circumference of Dallas on the circular by-pass and added over an hour to our trip, because you were certain you could find the correct exit, when all you had to do was pull into a gas station and ask directions?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, but it shows where male logic often leads."

"Well when we finally did stop, you wouldn't even ask directions because you didn't feel like imposing on those poor, busy gas station attendants who were trying to do three things at once."

"Somebody had to consider their feelings."

"And what about my frustration?"

"You wouldn't have felt frustrated if we'd stopped earlier."