Dear Ex (first and last note)

Dear Ex

Dear ex,

Hi. How have you been? First, I simply want to thank you for making me happy for the past 5years. It was the amazing 5years of my life. (I promise) You are really the best! Thank you. Likewise, I want to say sorry for all the stupid things that I've done. I'm really sorry.

Sometimes I want to think that it is so unfair for you to move on just like that and make me feel I am not worth it or enough yet. Of course, you do believe that someday I will find my "someone" too, that it will come my way and be happy as well as you are right now. I trust you. Don't feel sorry about me, cause I already do baby.

Your happiness means everything to me. I should be okay then. I want you to be happy more than you deserve. It's just that I'm no longer the reason anymore. Right? It's been a long time, I should be over that by now. Only the pain just feels like yesterday. I don't know.

I miss you and it hurts. I can't even fall asleep without thinking of you, and cry afterwards. I feel depressed. I feel every pain in my heart. I feel hopeless and miserable. I'm pretty much sure this is what they called "broken hearted."

I miss reminiscing with you and talk about the first day we met over and over again. I even wrote our love story in a book and i was like "Whoa! did I just wrote that?" I miss singing you my own compositions while playing guitar, look directly into your eyes and see it twinkles like literally, that's the cutest thing ever.

Dance in front of you until you get annoyed. Prepare one of my special recipe sandwiches when boredom strikes us (or your favorite "pancit canton" with matching coke on the side. Hehe) you never noticed me watching you enjoying your food and say "Baby! I thought you were not hungry?!" right after you finished, then laughed.

I miss it when you waken me up just to say "can you get me a glass of water please?" or just kiss me on the cheeks every time I'd say "no", cause you know that I'll get my ass off and bring you a glass of water in a split second. That's how good motivator you are. Haha!

I miss us watching movies and cry together. Ended up eating our popcorns before the movie starts, anyway. Haha! I miss you calling me "baby" which is really rare. But when you do, you always make me blush hey!! Most of all, I miss your love. The love that I always wanted, the love that makes me feel safe and sound.

Just miss e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g about you. Thank you for the wonderful memories we shared. Some of them are in the pictures, (which is so hard to delete. Haha) but most of the time it is just the heart and the mind that captures special moments with you. I don't know if I will just scream or laugh or smile or just cry again.

But hey, I will be fine and be healed. It may even take months, years maybe. It's okay. I know I can surpass this big challenge in my life without you. Still thanking you for everything you have done for me, you know that. You're the main reason why I can say that I am good person right now.

Please don't ever believe that I hate you for breaking my heart. Come on, how can I hate someone I love the most? I hurt you many times, and I truly deserved the pain. I actually hate myself since I didn't notice that you were no longer in love with me. When? I don't know. How? I don't know. Why? I don't know. My fault, yes maybe.

Sigh. You finally moved on. Happy with your new "someone". I prayed, I thank God and said "Please make them happy" and cried. Yeah, maybe I'm even so here hoping for something that I knew it won't happen again. Don't worry about me, though. One day, it would be my turn. Not today, but one day.. Again, thank you for everything. Your happiness is worth the pain.

Loving you still,
Your #1 fan