The Revenge Of Poot

The Night Things Changed

"Come back to bed, my love" Donald sang as Poot walked out of the bathroom, wearing only a robe.
"I must go to work now Donald, but remember, I have loved you and your gorgeous toupee for 6 years, and I will never stop loving either of you."
Donald smiled at her with his moist crusty lips and Poot's heart skipped a beat.
She couldn't bare looking at his beauty any longer so she left, thinking Donald was a faithful lover. Without even a thought that everything will be different the next time she returns.

Donald stood by the window, his carrot orange skin glistening in the sunlight as he watched her leave, he saw her car drive away and immediately picked up his phone to text his one and only.
She's gone. He wrote and after 1.3 seconds he got a reply.
Good. I'm outside. BURMA. Barack wrote.
Trump smiled, flashing his rotten yellow teeth.
He decided to get in the shower and clean himself off.
When he came out, wearing nothing but a towel.. over his head, Obama was waiting for him with a grin, only he was fully dressed and didn't look like he was thinking what Trump was thinking.
"I want to go out and get something to eat first" Barack said cheerfully.
"Alright then, but anywhere but McDonald's" Trump grinned.
The two men decided on KFC and each ate a shitload of chicken in the parking lot, because Donald refused to go in the restaurant, no instead of going inside and paying for chicken, he dumpster-dived for it, which Barack said was "Sexy and good for the environment".
After finishing their glorious meals, the two men went home and spent all day in bed.

At approximately 7pm Poot finished work and started driving home. Everything was going fine, her favourite song Uptown Funk was playing, she was drinking Vodka, jamming out, living the life she spent so many years in the basement wishing to live, until as she pulled up into her driveway, through the window she saw Trump in bed, only he wasn't alone waiting for her, he was spooning a naked figure.
"What. The. FUCK" Poot roared as she slammed her car door shut and broke open her bedroom window with her foot. But even that didn't wake up the two men, she looked at them and even though their eyes were shut, they looked madly in love. Poot began to sob and started scribbling down a note.

Dear, Donald

Fuck you bruh
I was hella in love with you
How could you possibly do this to me?
I don't believe it.
You are a sick sick man and I hate the way your carrot orange skin glistens in the sunlight.
Go fuck yourself.
I hope he makes you happy.
Actually no I hope he makes you realize what a shit man you are and I hope you rot in hell, you piece of fucking trash.
Never come near me again.
fuk u

Love, someone who used to love you.

Poot set it under a book on Donald's end side table and climbed back through the window. Still sobbing she decided to visit the soon to be ex First Lady, Guy Fieri.

"What's up little momma you wanna take a trip to flava town 2nite?" Guy said as he let Poot into his home.

"Donald's been cheating on me!
With your husband!" Poot sobbed.

"No shit?!" Guy laughed

"Wtf how'd you know?"

"Barack don't keep no secrets from me, that's what good relationships are about!" Guy grinned

"So you knew, this whole time! And never told me?!?!" Poot was outraged

"Look I didn't think you'd care gurl, besides Obama sleep with eryone, how'd you not figure it out?"

"I thought Barack was faithful to you!" She roared

"Gurl Barack sleep with Bob Duncan, Billy Ray Cyrus and probably all Donald's children, who you think he is, some faithful prude? Hell nah bruh"

Poot couldn't handle it anymore. She ran out that door and speeded in her car until she was at the nearest bridge and she parked, luckily no one was around.
Or so she thought.

She looked down at the gleaming water and thought to herself. "Finally I have reached the end. I am ready to fucking die now." And just as she began to let go a green hand pulled her down.
"Pepe?!?" She said through sobs

"Yes it is I" Pepe said with a single tear falling down his fat green face.

"It's been awhile" Poot said sniffling

"We've never even met wtf" Pepe said confused

"Whatevs" Poot rolled her eyes

"So why are you trying to die?"

"My boyfriend cheated on me, with Barack O-fucking-bama" she frowned and looked back at the glistening water

"I have a plan for you to get him back" Pepe announced

"How'd you come up with one so quickly?! Wtf"

"Stfu and let me tell you"

"Okie fine xD"

"First you must pretend you have no idea what's going on with him, then you must sleep with Obama and all the other men he's slept with before. Make sure to take nudes of all the men, including Donald, and then (this parts the hardest) find your way into the Ellen show, there's a guy there called Jim who works the giant screen behind Ellen, where she shows pictures. Explain to him there's been a mix up and he's on vacation and you're managing the screen today, then take all the nude photos and play them on the screen, during the interview. You must also make sure all the men he's ever slept with are all there.
Good luck" Pepe said before hoping into the water and leaving Poot with his amazing plan.

Poot smiled. For the first time since the time she locked Demi in the basement, she was gonna taste sweet sweet revenge.