Dear boy,
Recently I have tried to put you in the past. I tried my best to cope when you were dating her, but in reality it was tearing me apart. I understand that I should have been happy that she made you happy but I am selfish. I was probably supposed to hate you, for ignoring me the way that you did and I tried it out for awhile... but I just can't. I can't hate you. I have to see you everyday at school and it pains me to look at you. You're so beautiful. You talk about drugs which to me is a fatal flaw but for some reason, when it comes from your lips, it seems like a good idea. I know you're bad for me, but I can't get you out of my head. You've had a place there since I first met you and now I can't get you out. Since it's the new year or whatever, I figured I could just forget about you. But as cliche as it sounds, I look at you for one second and I forget every resolution I have ever made and how to even form words. I hoped you were just a phase because knowing how you see me is so painful. I plan to go to college, get married, have a career, but for some reason, you are always the guy I end up with. I look at your number in my phone, knowing you've changed it, and it gives me so many memories and reminds me of how badly I screwed up. I think that you might be the first boy I've ever loved.
-sorry
