For Haven's Sake

Life for me has NOT been a picnic. From the time I was born, my own family had it out for me. You see, my parents didn't want a kid. But their parents wouldn't let them give me up for adoption since I was their mistake, not someone else's. So my parents moved me a few states over and never spoke to their families. They turned to drugs and alcohol to pass the time. And once they were drunk and high, it started. I was beaten nightly, sometimes several times a day, for no other reason than that I existed. I don't remember most of it though. My therapist says I've blocked the memories. There is one night I remember clearly though. The night I entered the foster care system.

"Go to bed Haven! So we can get the fuck out of this place!" My mother yelled at me. I could barely move, I was beaten so badly. But I knew how to hide the pain. I worked my way to my room and crawled in bed. Then the tears finally broke free. I heard the door slam and knew they were gone. I cried for what felt like hours and then I smelled it...smoke. But I was used to it...the neighbors probably just had a bonfire going again. I rolled over, wiping my eyes and fading into a crappy sleep. Suddenly, fire trucks were blaring as though they were right outside. I thought I opened my eyes, but I still couldn't see. I began screaming hysterically. I couldn't stand not knowing what was happening.

That's how they found me, curled on my bed, screaming my lungs out. I was lifted over someone's shoulder as they whispered reassuring words. There were 2 of them, both men. Both really strong. They handed me off to a paramedic and she immediately noticed my injuries. She turned to an officer. "Call CPS." She stated simply. They put one of those oxygen masks you see in movies over my face and began tending to my injuries. This was the closest I had been to any kind of doctor in my life. I knew my teachers saw the bruises and injuries, but they never said a word. Just stared at me worridly. Suddenly, a woman in a blazer and slacks was next to the EMT. "So this is my new charge?" "Yes. We don't know where the parents are, she was obviously beaten and was left in a burning house alone. I believe it's safe to call her yours sis." "Can we remove the mask so I can ask her some questions?" "No. She inhaled a lot of smoke. She'll be needing oxygen for a while."

The scream pierced the air. "MY HOUSE!!!!" So that's all she cared about. Her house. Not her daughter. My parents were escorted by police to where I was. "Is this your daughter?" One officer asked. "Unfortunately." My father spat. "Sir, you're both coming with us." The officer replied as he and his partner grabbed their cuffs. "Wait! What's her name?" That was the blazer lady. "Haven. Haven Rowland." My mother sneered.Suddenly, my brain couldn't take anymore. My eyes closed and my ears shut off.

...

I woke up in a really white room, laying in an uncomfortable bed. Blazer lady was in a chair, staring at me with tears in her eyes. "Oh! Thank God you're awake! I thought you were comotose!"

She asked me things like my full name. Haven Elizabeth Rowland. My age? Nine. Had my parents ever hit me? Only every day I could remember. Did they leave me home alone often? At least once a week. There were so many more I don't really want to explain. But then she introduced herself. Her name was Annie Payne and she would be my social worker, the EMT was her sister, Abby. The rest of their family was back in England. I could listen to her accent all day...it was magical. She let me sleep again then because I told her I was tired. But I really liked Annie. She seemed really nice. And I was definitely right.