Life , The Eventually ending Hell.

another day in my hell

My eyes shoot open to the obnoxiously loud sound of the black and white alarm clock sitting on my bed side table , time to go run around in the hellhole I called my home . "why am I still here ? " I thought to myself kicking the blankets off myself to reveal my pale boney feet along with the malnourished looking legs. It wasn't my fault I looked this way , my parents may be wealthy, but most of our money was spent of narcotics, just so that they could be abused , I had fallen victim to a broken home , being the eldest of 4 children , I was the protector , no one was there to watch over me as a went through my short regretful adolescent stage. Opening my door slowly , I looked down the hall into the living room , no surprise but my sisters were no were to be found , which filled me with delight . I stepped on the ice cold wooden floor , then continued to repeat as I silently made my way to the patio , I grabbed the small bag filled with rolled up packages filled with marijuana , when I opened the small Ziploc, i was overwhelmed with the scent of regret , it was heart breaking to know this was the only way to getting through this nightmare . I grabbed one and inserted it into my lips , locked the bag , returned it back to my pocket then retrieving the lighter I had stolen yesterday, slowly , bringing it up to my mouth , then continuing to light the narcotic , I cried , but then stopped , feeling instant relief , this isn't how a 13 year old is supposed to live , it's suppose to be one of the best years of your life , then there's me , wasting away surviving off of weed , water and toothpaste , but this is how it was , this is how its always gonna be