Rants of a Bored Person

Rant #1

To the person who left without any goodbyes:

Hi, I just want you to know that I still think about you. A lot. So much more than I'd care to admit.

Why, you ask? (By the way, that's a really stupid question.)

First of all, we were close. Real close. To me, you were more than just a friend. You were someone I could really count on when I needed someone. Someone I could openly talk to. Someone I could share my secrets with. Someone who, no matter how different our personalities were, would still understand me as much as I understood you.

Secondly, you gave me so many memories to cherish that I couldn't possibly forget them all in an instant. And if I'm not wrong, I hope I gave you a lot of memories to cherish too. 

Remember that time you told me about your dreams? I remember. I remember seeing that gleam of determination and hope in your eyes, that proud and carefree smile as if you could do anything and be anything you wanted.

How about that time when you said you're going to be famous and forget all who doubted you? I remember. I remember you promising to be my friend. I remember you saying that you trusted me. I remember you saying that you'd never forget me.

But I also remember that horrible feeling. That feeling of doubt and confusion as the realization slowly dawned on me. The realization that the person who was once so trustworthy and close to me was slipping right through my fingertips. The realization that the person who promised never to leave and never to change was the same person who was turning into a stranger right in front of me.

You know what's weird? No matter how much I wanted to hate you, ignore you, forget you, I couldn't. I'm going to be clear: I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU ANYMORE. But I just can't bring myself to hold a grudge. I might not completely understand your reasons, but I try to. You weren't just someone I loved. You were my best friend. I know you, or, at least I think I do.

After all this time, I just want to ask you one thing: How did you do it? You made it look so easy, leaving me behind like that. You made it look so easy, acting like I was never important to you. You made it look so damn easy, acting like you didn't care about me at all. How did you make everything look so damn easy? How did you do it?

Maybe I couldn't change anything anymore. It's probably too late for that. Besides, someday someone worthy is going to come along and become a better part of my life. I don't care if you took a chunk of my soul with you. You can keep it. After all, I still can't help but be proud of your achievements. Maybe, subconsciously, I still do care. And if a new person comes along and takes another chunk of my soul with them? I wouldn't mind. I have a lot of love left to spare.

That's it for me. That's all I have to say. This rant is over.