strings that snap | larry

eleven

Despite the fact that he feels vulnerable, he puts on his poker face and pulls himself up. Every muscle is burning. Every joint is popping.

He pads his way to the kitchen to find something he wants to say he hasn't missed. Harry is standing there, more skin and bones than he was before, flipping bacon.

Louis soundlessly takes a seat at the small table. Harry doesn't seem to notice he's there until the chair legs squeak.

"Did you sleep well?" Harry asks as if he already knows the answer. At least he's talking at a pace in which Louis' headache can handle. 

"Yes I did," Louis says curtly. "Thank you for asking." He reminds himself of the second night they had the chance to talk. How short and bittersweet their exchange was.

Louis knows he should apologize for everything. That doesn't mean he is going to. He was terribly sorry, but what he did was for Harry's own good. Even if Harry didn't understand that.

Harry seems hesitant about what he says next. "I, uh, put your pills back." He's hard to hear since his back is turned.

"I put your pills back." His mother sets down his lunch in front of him. "You really have to be more careful. Don't want the twins getting into them."

He feels guilty. "Sorry, mum." Louis stirs his soup.

He's sixteen years old and he's expected to function like an adult. It's only a few days until his Victory Tour starts. He's on pills and he's homeschooling. He really only goes out when he's taking the girls to play and when he's visiting his fellow Victors.

"Sooner or later they'll find out, you know." 

But Louis doesn't want them to. He doesn't want the girls to know that he's sad and torn apart from the insides. They're so young. They haven't even had to worry about a reaping. Louis tells them that the pills are kind of like a special candy. That they make him happy just like the little chocolate pieces from the store makes them happy.

He stresses that they should never touch them. The twins are far too small to know better. His mother constantly reminds him of this.

A tear drops into the broth in his bowl.

"Oh dear, please don't cry." His mother shuffles over when she hears the hiccups. She rubs his back. Ever since the games, she knows Louis doesn't like hugs all that much. He feels restricted, like when the dry vines that tugged at his limbs.

"Sorry, mum." He apologizes again.

He missed  his school friends. He missed his father. He missed being a child. He missed so many things.

Being lonely was sadly not his worst pain.

"I think I got them right." Harry snaps Louis back from his wandering mind. "I never really understood the dosages." The curly headed boy slides the food on to a plate and sets it in front of Louis. He didn't make any for yourself.

Harry doesn't sit down until he gets a fork for Louis.

"Where is yours?" Louis pokes at the yolk of his egg. Harry nervously looks back and forth. The silence hangs in the air. "Superstar," He sighs and rubs his face with his hands. "You are not sneaky."

Harry looks kind of sad. "Split mine with me." Louis sounds frustrated. He roll his eyes before getting up to grab another plate. He ignores the screaming from his muscles.

Louis picks  up two pieces of bacon and one egg and throws them on Harry's plate before shoving it towards him. Harry just looks at the food with large eyes.

"Eating's quite important despite what the Capitol women tell you." Louis bites. He feels like he's fallen back into mentor mode. 

Sometimes his kids would refuse to eat before they went into the arena. A little girl named Callie died from starvation. He felt responsible ever since that day. Even if it was her stubbornness that led to her end.

Harry begins to cut his food into tiny little pieces, taking the smallest bites imaginable. Louis sighs and accepts it.

They sit in silence as they eat. Louis wants to ask where the hell Harry has been and why he didn't come back sooner. Maybe his whereabouts had been on the television Louis chose to ignore.

"Your birthday is soon." Harry says.

"And how do you know?" Louis raises an eyebrow as he gnaws on a piece of bacon.

"My sister ," His voice is filled with sadness. "She was really obsessed with you for quite a while."

Louis tries to imagine District 8, but what he remembers isn't picturesque. The factories billowed smoke and it was a concrete jungle. He recalls there being no greenery, no plants. Smog laid thick over the whole district.

Citizens lived in shacks, leaning buildings. The homeless rate was high. Everything seemed dirty. The Victor's Village had been a ghost town when he last went. He assumed it still was.

"The twenty-fourth day of the twelfth month. That's in three days." Harry says, dipping the whites of his egg in the runny yolk. "Around the time it snows." As if to check, the boy glances out the window.

"Quite the fanboy." Louis says coldly as if it's an insult. Harry doesn't jump to defend himself. In fact, he stays silent.

Harry looks like if he wants to say something. "I still have the pieces of the shirt."

Louis looks at him with confusion as he clears his plate. "Shirt?" His memory is fuzzy. A week has felt like years.

"You wove in to my hair." Harry sets his fork down and only a fourth of his food is gone. Louis goes to put the plates up in the sink, but Harry stops him. "I've got it."

"Well that was nice of you." Louis tries his best to warm up his voice but it seems impossible.

"The president says I get to go home for a bit." Harry's thoughts are not connected. His brain is everywhere. "I've only got to stay a few more months and then come back when the Games start up again."

That makes Louis bitter. Louis didn't get to go home. He knows every case is different. When he was first brought to the Capitol he was younger which was extremely desirable. Harry was at the older end of the spectrum.

"That's...nice." Louis chokes out.

Harry sleeps on the couch that night. Louis gets him to eat a little more but still treats him coldly. No, Louis is not proud of himself. He's ashamed. This kid is so lost and has no idea what's ahead of him.

He had finally convinced himself that he was invincible. That he was above the majority. He had been getting by without having to worry.

It was the one thing he had and Harry had ripped it from him.

****

thanks for reading!

xxK