Unwanted, Forgotten

Used to it

The sun was breaking the surface of day and night lighting the already darkened sky. Smiling the young boy watched the pretty colors dance a cross the sky, giving it life. Life was beautiful after all, all the pretty colors, flowers, plants, people, souls. Everything had beuty, but there were those who sought out to erase it. Those types of people are always caught though, by those who see the beauty for what it is. Joy.
"Near, what are you doing here? You should be in your room." Rogger's voice called out. Turning Near looks at the male. Right rules.
"Sorry, I will be heading to my room now. I just couldn't sleep." Near whispered walking away Leaving the completed puzzle behind. Rogger sighed.
"I didn't mean leave." he whispered before leaving. Near didn't stop, he just walked until he met his room. Walking inside he lays on the bed and waits till the sound of footsteps told him breakfast was ready. It felt like hours due to the fact that it was. He waited hours on the bed thinking until a small knock sounds on his door. Standing Near walks towards the door and opens it. His hand outstreched above his head to hold the knob.
"Hello?" he asks and see the male who is always with Mello. "Matt right? What brings you here?" he asks and Matt looks at him shocked.
"Well Roger told me to give you your puzzle back and to tell you breakfast is ready." he answered handing the puzzle to the boy and leaving. Near sighed noting that he didn't hear the footsteps. Walking towards the cafeteria Near grabs a plate and grabbed some cantilope and a glass of milk, before sitting down. The blond across the room watched intently, but acted otherwise. To glare when eye contact was made. The sun was blocked by dark flowy clouds. The smaller boy was thrown into the wall and kicked multiple times before left there, in his painful crouched position. The boy stood and waltzed away as though nothing happened. Like so many times before. This occured after that first day. As for Near he was always used to it. Years before Mello and years with Mello. His bruises and blood scratches became just as they were an normal occurence.

"Mello, get off him!" Matt growled pulling Mello off of Near, who just looked up at him. His eyes emotionless and blank. Seeing his chance the smaller male stood and left them. Everyone showed him that he never really mattered.
I am supposed to become the new L after he passes the door from this realm to the next. However that is not what I want, but if that mattered, if I mattered, to others then I could be myself. Who I want to be. N, Near. I don't want to be L only L could be L.
"Thank you, but you don't have to do that." Near whispered before walking into the library. Not a lot of people understood emotionlessness of detectives, hence why a lot of vibes and emotions radiate off people. Near was different though. He was used to no emotions for the years of his life, so it was easy to shut them down and live without them. However he loses the beauty of the world.
The library was empty and for the smaller male he liked it that way. No one to judge no one to hate, just peace and that is what he liked. No one to hate or harm him. However today was different. The door opened braking the silence and waking the smaller male. He sits up and sees the world of dice he created protecting him. Then he saw Mello. He was checking out a book, but he didn't see near yet. Lying down Near fell back in to the lonely familiar realm called sleep.

I glance around the library as I walked in, stupid near built a whole city with dice. I try not to knock over any dice, because of the last time I did. He made me pick it all up. As I pulled a book out of the shelf I glance over and see Near laying on the ground asleep. He was tossing slightly. Sighing I pick up the male and take him to his room. As I go to leave after tucking the boy in he grabs my shirt. Still asleep.
"Mello?" he whispers. Maybe I was wrong. Then his hand losened and he fell back asleep. I head towards the door and open it. "I know no one wants me." near whispered and I looked at him. And left. I sit on my bed and start to read my newly checked out book until dinner is ready. Once it was I headed toward the lunch hall with Matt.
"Hey Mel, you okay?" Matt asked and I looked at him.
"What? Oh yeah. I am fine." I answered and looked back at my book. The door freaked open and in walked a small albino looking kid his hair messy from sleep, and he acted like nothing happened. Then it happened. Mello looked Near dead in the eyes for a whole split second, but he saw something in it. At the time he didn't know what he saw. Just that it was different.
"Mello? Earth to Mello? Okay I am going to take your chocolate." Matt said and touched the chocolate bar, then and only then Mello looked at him.
"What the fuck do you believe that you are doing?" Mello asked grabbing his chocolate.
"Don't scare me like that. You just want quiet and not the reading quiet the scary quiet." Matt said before leaning back sighing. Rubbing his head Mello looks at Matt who already went back to his game.
"Sorry it is just near said something today and... I don't know." Mello said.
"Well what did he say?"
"That he knew no one wants him." Mello answered. Looking up Matt stares at Mello.

Years passed now, nothing changed between the two, Near was still cocky. Matt still tried to pull Mello off of Near. Near was still better than Mello. Nothing new, just now they are 10 (Near), and 12 (Matt and Mello).
"So, today we are going to talk about how to be like L, so no one knows he is dead." the teacher rambled. Sighing Near listens, but doesn't. He doesn't care to be like L. "Tomorrow, L will be coming to visit." the teacher said and Near gives a small smile. Near always felt like L was the best friend he never had. He felt L understood him. No one went out of their way to befriend him, except L. So L is held on higher standards than anyone. The night was dark, and cold. Rain flooded the grass. Wandering the halls, Near sits on the window sil watching the rain, feeling at ease. Peace with the world around. Like before. A clash of thunder rolls shaking inside his head.
"What do you think you are doing? You stupid piece of shit! How is our title going to stand strong with a kid like this?" the man yelled at the woman about the child standing there.
"I don't know, but we will figure it out!" the woman yelled back. The smaller kid shook where he stood. The male hit the kid and the wife, before leaving the house. Slamming the door where the whole house shook.
"I'm sorry." the woman appologized. And the next morning the child was walking up to the orphanage. Alone.
Another crash of thunder rang in his ear. The smaller male shook as he cried in his knees. He didn't cry often, but it was only during a thunderstorm when he can't control it. Even if it has been four years since that day.
"Near?" a distant voice called. Near looked up to see Mello standing there. Standing Near walked off.
"Have a good night, Mello." I don't want to tell him. I can't. Near thought as he entered his room.