Gentle Breeze|Sidebeatz AU/OneShots

Not Just Words

Thick grey clouds littered the sky, air crisp with frost and leaves curled and rough as the gentle hand of winter was near to bury all in its clean and glistening snow. The chilling environment wasn't normal for young Albi Sidearms as he walked this new state with his friends of many years, snow wasn't normal in Albania and it never grew this cold in California so being overdressed was an understatement at this moment.

Gray, black and different multicolored hooded men chuckled and laughed as the sidewalk shortened towards their destination, the cold ineffective towards the others making Albi a little uncomfortable.

He watched in his oversized purple jacket as his crush, Shadow, fell into deep conversation with his best friend, G18. Albi felt his face warm up as Shadow glanced back towards him and offered a somewhat gentle smile, Albi couldn't wrap a finger around why he did such thing. Maybe because he seemed so uncomfortable or maybe it was because he was walking alone behind the group, either way Albi felt warm in knowing that Shadow still kept him in mind.

Although these people were his friends and knew almost everything about him, he still felt the need to do what was asked, always be gentle and never talk back like his friends would. He felt the need to let everyone have their conversations and wait until someone was done to interact with the others. Albi never got mad, never showed that he was sad or stressed, never felt the need to talk about certain emotions and always be considerate towards others.

Albi let out a small sigh and shoved his hands in his big pockets, looking at the ground he started to think. He knew he wasn't Shadow's favorite, in fact he knows he isn't even in the list but he still tries and tries. Sure Shadow throws insults at Sidearms everyday but Side never gives in and always tries to lighten the mood or fight back with dumb compliments. Although Shadow hates him, he never feels sad or worthless but he does wonder a lot. He wonders why exactly Shadow hates him, is it because he's always apologizing, is it because he's so nice or is it because he flirts here and there?

Albi tensed up a little and for the first time in his life, he let a sorrowful expression show. His blue eyes not their regular bright shine but also not a horribly dull look either. His mouth wasn't formed into a smile like it usually is but in a look that seemed as if he were about to cry, a look that no one has seen, a look that he wouldn't let anyone see. Albi didn't want to look up, he didn't want to move anymore, he didn't want anyone to see him cry because... because it's not normal for him.

"Why can't you just love me like I love you?!" He mumbled roughly and let out a quiet whimper. A few tears leaked and slowly dribbled down his tanned cheeks and off his chin as he walked, his bright world seem like it had collapsed and crumbled at his feet.

"Finally!" Hova yelled and stopped, "No more walking!" D4 cheered and looked at everyone else who seemed amused and delighted.

Sidearms quickly whipped away his tears with his sleeve and looked up to find his eyes meeting with Shadow, the look of concern and confusion clouded his eyes as he looked at the red tear trails that led down his face. Something clicked in Albi's head and his gave a bright grin though his eyes told another story. Shadow watched as Side winked at him and climbed the stairs along with the others towards Jahova's house. Shadow followed behind soon after but still couldn't shrug off the fact that the giggling boy, the male who always smiled and laughed, hadn't been smiling. What made the situation worse was that the grin he gave Shadow seemed so fake. Shadow let out a loud sigh and decided that it wasn't his business, to stay out of it until he saw Sidearms do it again.

A few hours later Albi found himself alone in the kitchen with Shadow, his heart beating rapidly though his brain confusing him with things like 'Don't screw up' and 'Get out before you do something wrong'. He fought with his brain until a few words popped out of his mouth just like that.

"I love you" he said and smiled, it seemed so friendly, so innocent.

Shadow looked at Side and smiled back, surprisingly he didn't snap at Side but only said those few words back. Those few words that carved into Albi's skin and broke his heart.

"Love you too, buddy" Shadow said and walked out.

The way he said it, it was just like everyone else when he'd say it.  He acted like it was nothing...
Albi clenched his fists, he clenched his teeth, he shut his eyes...he sobbed silently.
This love for his best friend was breaking him mentally and Albi couldn't do anything about it.

"Why...?"

<I don't know what this was>