so idfk why I'm writing this I just have a lot that I get off of my chest. so basically I am so lost at this point. do you ever feel like, you know what is right, and you know what you want but it's wrong? that's how I feel. like. so I'm like in love with this guy. and he makes me the happiest person on the planet. but lately he hasn't been making me happy and we have been fighting. he is my world. I tell myself I don't need him and that I'm fine without him, but I'm fucking not. the thing is if I take him back I'll lose my friends. or they will be mad at me. I don't know. I'm basically typing this bc it's easier then writing it. I miss him. I haven't cried much, but that's because I know if I start crying I literally won't stop. I dress cute everyday hoping he will notice me & want me back but he doesn't. idk. it's stupid. yo typing is so much easier then writing bc I can type sooo fast. I need help. and I'm lost. I want him, but I am not sure if I need him to be okay. I just want to be with him and things to be good. his ex girlfriend is back and I am not sure how I feel about it. and I'm not sure I trust him. he never let me see his phone and he gets jealous very quick and is quick to assume the wrong things. a while ago I did something fucked up and I know he could never forget it. but I hate how he brings it up EVERYTIME we fight. idk. I miss him so fucking much. and I am conflicted bc this other guy makes me happy. but obviously not like the guy I love. idk what to do. I love him. and. he doesn't see it.
