About me... :T

Personality

I'm a very defensive person, and a very argumentive person, because throughtout my childhood, or like ages 4-9 or so, I didn't use my power of speech effectively, so loved ones were effected. And now that I know how to use my words effectively, I use it sometimes in the wrong way, but I do apologize. I'll explain. When I was a kid, my dad was always angry. He would come home, calm looking, and just eye us down or look for us to see what we were doing. My mom would work during the weekend starting Friday night, and she would leave at around 6:00. We would know what's coming to us, so we would wave her off sadly when she left. Then, our dad (I have a sister, then later a brother) would get us away from the door and force us to get him things, or to clean, and if we did otherwise, he would physically abuse us. He also threatened to hurt us if we told anyone. I couldn't tell my grandparents that lived with us or my mom because I thought he would hurt them too. Remember, I was a little kid, with a little kid brain, so don't judge my actions please. My mom knew that my dad would hurt me and my sister, but she had her talks with him, and she wasn't aware of him hurting us when she was gone. One day, my sister had to get stitches because a broken candle-holder gashed her thigh, and then it would take her a while to heal, so she couldn't bike, swim, or run outside for a while. My dad usually did those things with us when he was in better spirits, but he wasn't having any of it. He didn't sympathize her one bit. He told her that she can't bike or swim, in a teasing way when he got home. I was about 7 at that time, and my mom left for work later that week. My sister has brain trauma, because my dad hit her and me on the head many times, but she had it worse than me. She was a bit slower than me, so my dad would repeatedly hurt her behind locked doors, and I would just cringe at the stairway, hearing crying, screaming, and beating going on. No matter how many times I pleaded for him to stop, or try to pull or push him away from her or us, he would always be stronger than me. That night when my mom left for work, my dad locked us in his and my mom's room. I was scared, so I obeyed him carefully and encouraged my sister to as well. But my sister was slower than me at receiving orders, so my dad lost his cool and smacked her with the remote controller, and he shook her, screaming at her. He then pushed her and she fell awkwardly to the carpet, due to her stitches in her thigh. It was too much for me. Couldn't he see that she was already hurt enough? Just because of one slip up, he hurt her? I had enough. My mom came home in the morning. I waited until my dad left for work, and I told her everything that happened. Eventually it came into a divorce and everything and I didn't mention my brother being born earlier than that incident. Basically my trust was broken, and I had a long lecture from my grandparents on why I should speak up because things like this happen blah blah.