Albert was the only child of a four parent family. Now I know what you're thinking why the hell is this a generic ass intro to a generic story? well shut the hell up i'm not done yet i'm the narrator not you. Now back to our protagonist he was a simple child, almost, but he had a quirk if you would. He was a bad-ass, ass kicking, rectal cavity killing machine, fruit eating, tomato squashier. Today was his first trip by himself to the grocery store, and he was ready to wreck shit all up in there neighborhood. As he prepared to leave he grabbed his spas-12 strapped it to his back and left. As home-boy walked pimppingly down the street a vampire dinosaur wolf cat thing jumped from nowhere and Albert was all like holy fuck.
Albert said "Holy Fuck"
See i told you he said it. He was all like pew pew with his shotty and blast that shit back to where ever the fuck it came from. So he re-initiated his walk down the street after seeing that crazy ass shit. That's when it hit him. a rocket from a rpg, like right in his damn chest. as Albert screamed "damn you role-players to hell" he flew off in the opposite direction of his original destination. That was when he remembered his power of fuck off. He flew right back there grabbed them by the hips and whispered in their ears " I'm going to make you wish your mom had swallowed you, you weeb trash." That was the last day they were seen, ever. Finally Albert had made it to the store, but little did he know that his greatest nemesis would be there. Hannah Banana!!!!!! So realizing this he did his shopping on the down low, yah know real sneaky like. He got his fruits squashed some tomatos and was on his way. That was when the world changed. Hannah had spotted him. He tried to run but it didn't work. He tried to punch and struggle but She was too strong and just slapped the living shit out of him. As Albert drifted in and out of consciousness he knew it was the end. Hannah Banana grabbed him by the balls swung him in circles and threw him into the spiked wall section in aisle six. He knew he was to die alone just like he was born. Hannah's creepy ass kissed the corpse naked and shit everyone was all like gross.
