I still get uncomfortable when people get too close to me. I still dream about it. How you made me keep it a secret.
I still feel your small, disgusting fingers touching me. I still think about how embarrassed I was to be with you.
I feel guilty.
I feel gross.
I'm ashamed.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm disgusted.
I'm scared.
I don't blame you, though.
I blame me. I let it happen. I tried stopping you once but then got scared and gave in. I let you do it. I didn't like it but I was too nice to you.
