The Newest Guard

Chapter 1

Pitch black. Great. Just great. His first day, or night rather, on the job and they couldn't at least leave the lights on until he reached the office? Unbelievable... And he was early!

Well, the only solace he gained was at least he knew where he was going having visited the restaurant on two occasions prior. Once when enquiring about the job advertisement in the local post office and the second for the actual interview. Still... A flashlight would have been nice... The smell of what could only be guessed as pizza or even cupcakes still lingered in the air, teasing his nostrils with the sweet image of food. He could head to the kitchen... Grab a quick snack. But no doubt that would be deducted from his pay.

It was very rare for Kyle to be early for anything. The only other time being when cake or alcohol was involved, particularly when it was free. Perhaps even rarer was for him to find a job and actually keep it for any decent length of time. He'd already lost four jobs in the past year alone though he swore the last one wasn't his fault. Stupid handbrake... How was it his fault that his car rolled through the shop window and smashed the cabbage stand?... It was a stupid job anyway. Stupid pay. Stupid hours. And the boss... Who cries over cabbages!?

Regardless, he had this job now. An easy one he could actually manage. Sitting on his ass watching a TV? Hell, sitting was his pastime! There was no way he could lose!

Summoning his memory of the layout he began to snake his way through the dining hall, humming the theme from James Bond to himself. Man, he felt like a ninja! Stealth, cunning and mystery. No-one would know he was there until he was upon them. Double-Agent, super spy, the best of the best at -

*THUD*

Before he could even begin to register it the world was spinning, a sharp pain shooting through his foot as it made contact with one of the table legs before tripping him over, landing flat on his face with all the grace and prowess of a ballerina rhinoceros, echoing his presence throughout the establishment with the embarrassing squeak he'd blurted.

"Fuck".

How stupid he must look right now... Thank god there was no-one around and the cameras' didn't actually record any footage. He propped himself up on his elbows with a grumbled sigh, rubbing his nose furiously to wipe away anything that might dribble. Sniffing and groaning, he paused for a moment to bury his head in his hands and question himself. He jolted slightly as the chair he'd tripped over fell to the ground with an almighty *clack* as the wooden backrest met the lino and shattered the silence once more as it reverberated about the halls.

"Stupid fucking chair..." He cursed, surprised to find himself whispering as if afraid to make any more noise. But what was he afraid of? Animatronic mascots in fluffy suits? That'd be the day...

Before he could raise himself, he was assisted as a large pair of hands grabbed him tightly about his sides, squeezing at his ribs slightly before plucking the hapless male from the ground with ease...