Love and Hate: A Dramione

Chapter 20

"Excuse me Professor McGonagall," the small boy said timidly. "Professor Dumbledore would like to see Ms. Granger."

Ignoring Harry's questioning gaze, Hermione stood up and followed the boy.

oOoOoOoOo

Hermione returned to the Gryffindor common room after her talk with Dumbledore. He had given her permission to skip her classes for the rest of the day so that she can pack and prepare for her departure. That was over two hours ago.

Yet, here she was, still sitting on the couch, unable to move. She stared unseeingly at the fireplace, remembering the past six years. Remembering the first time she stared in awe at the scarlet train, the first time she performed a spell, the first time she met Harry and Ron. She remembered everything. Her whole life was here – couldn't her parents see that? Her life had been empty before Hogwarts. She could barely remember anything before the day she received her letter, telling her that stories were true, that magic was real. How could she live without it? Even now she could feel her magic thrumming in her veins, as natural as her heartbeat. It was part of who she was.

And her friends – is she supposed to leave them all behind? Pretend they never existed? Ginny, Luna, Neville, Fred, George, Hagrid, the Order. She always knew she was different from other kids and in the muggle world, she never felt like she belonged anywhere. Coming to Hogwarts felt like coming home to her. Hogwarts was home – where she truly belonged. Sure she lost her way at times but now she had started to find it again. She had just started to rebuild her relationships, rebuild her life. Couldn't fate just leave her alone for a moment? It seemed like she and Harry were on the same black list.

Harry. She tried so hard not to think about leaving him. She didn't know if she could bear it. Harry was her brother. She could not separate herself from him any more than she could cut off her own arm. He was supposed to be in her life forever. Their kids were supposed to grow up together. They were family. She couldn't bear to hurt him. Too many people he loved had left him already – how was she going to leave him too?

Everyone she cared about was here, in this world – not in the muggle one. Somewhere in the castle, a little girl is excited for their movie night tomorrow. But it won't happen. And Draco...He had been there for her. He had seen her at her lowest and highest points. Though he might not know it, he had become her best friend, a constant in her life. She cared a great deal about him. She knew that now. She couldn't imagine life without him. The realization came too late. Now she was leaving and one of the people she cared about most wasn't speaking to her.

"What did Dumbledore want?" Harry's voice broke through her thoughts as he walked in through the portrait hole.

Hermione looked at her watch. Lunchtime.

Harry walked over to his friend. "I didn't see you in the Great Hall so I thought I'd check here and bring you food." He placed a tray filled with food on the table in front of Hermione. Upon seeing her face, he grew worried. "Hermione?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

Hermione looked up and seeing Harry's concerned face, she threw her arms around him and held him tight.

"Hey," Harry said softly, returning the hug. "It's going to be fine," he murmured, still holding on to her. "Whatever it is, we'll fix it."

Hermione let out a strangled laugh as she let go of her friend, looking at him with sad eyes. "I'm afraid, we can't fix this one," she said with a sad smile.

"Why don't you start from the beginning," Harry said, wrapping his arm around her. Hermione leaned into him and told him about her morning, leaving out her encounter with Draco. Unlike Draco, he remained silent, letting her finish her story. The only indication of his shock was when he held her tighter when she told him she had to leave.

His silence scared Hermione more than any outburst. "Harry, please say something."

Silence. "Dumbledore can't do anything?" Harry asked after a moment.

"No. His hands are tied. You know how much stricter the Ministry got after..." Hermione bit back a sob. "After what happened in 4th year. With the new restrictions in place, he has no power whatsoever to counteract a student's legal guardian. He can't even tell me how to find a way out of it even if there was one. Since I'm underage, what my parents say, goes."

"Why don't you just cut yourself off from them? Become a...what was it they call it in the muggle world? An emancipated teen."

Hermione shook her head. "They're still my parents, Harry. Besides, how am I supposed to support myself?"

"I'll help you," Harry said. "You're my sister. My family. What's mine is yours."

Hermione didn't want to have this argument again. "I'm sorry Harry, but it's not that simple."

"Please don't leave me, too."

Harry said it so quietly, Hermione had to strain to hear it. At his desperate tone she sat up and gently took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. The despair in his eyes made Hermione feel like someone had physically ripped out her heart.

"I don't want this any more than you do," Hermione said. Silent tears were flowing down both of their cheeks but neither looked away. "I love you. Nothing's going to change that." Hermione fought to keep her voice strong, for his sake and hers. "And I'm not leaving you, not really." Not like your parents and Sirius. The words were left unsaid. That was what she feared most. That her leaving would cause him the same pain theirs did. For the first time in her life she was glad for Genevieve's presence. Hopefully she would at least help Ron keep Harry's head above water. "You have to stay strong Harry. Are you listening to me?" Harry nodded, his eyes never leaving hers, his gaze getting more desperate, memorizing her face, her soul. "You have to stay strong for Ginny, for all of us." Some of her old fierceness came back to her as she felt Harry's anguish. "I'm never going to leave you. I'll always be here for you ok?" She needed him to understand. "You can visit me. I'll meet you anywhere, anytime. Damn my parents, say the word and I'll be there." She attempted a smile. "You can smuggle me some books so I can learn to apparate like the rest of you. You know how much I love books."

Harry let out a choked laugh. He threw his arms around Hermione holding her tight. Hermione held him just as fiercely, not wanting to let go. They both tried to take comfort in her words but they knew that no amount of visits and meetings would be enough. They would be living separate lives and once she left, nothing would be the same again.