Hidden in the Woods

Serial Killer

A big yawn and stretch I slowly begin to wake up. Oh oops. I drooled. I roll over forgetting that I am on a couch and bounce onto the floor. Ouch. With both hands bent behind me on the couch cushion I pick myself up from the ground. I hear a grumble from my stomach and I know instantly it's definitely time to find something to eat in this abode. Walking over to the kitchen I trip over a bit of carpet. Too tired to get back up I begin to crawl lazily over to the kitchen. The tile floor is icy cold, but dealing with it I make my way over to the fridge and sit on my knees to open it.
    In front of me there was an already made bowl of cereal with a spoon in it. I stare at it questioningly and grab the cold bowl. I start sniffing it just to make sure it's not spoiled. Smells okay. Curiously, I take a small bite from the cereal. Definitely Quaker Oats, it tasted delicious. Judging from the way it tasted it didn't seem like it was in the fridge for too long. I devour it all down in about five bites.
    "Wow, I'm glad you liked it. We weren't sure what kind of cereal you would enjoy," said something from behind me.
    "AAAAH!!!" I screamed, jumped and dropped the bowl. Holding the spoon out in front of me threateningly, I start quivering.
    It spoke again, "Uhm, what kind of damage do you think you're going to do with a spoon?"
    I yelled fearing for my life, "It's not a spoon! It's, It's a spork!" In fact, it really was a spork. I begin hearing small bells ring. Still panicking I start looking around the kitchen searching for whoever it was talking to me.
    "Oh, calm the hell down. We just made you breakfast," said another small voice. This voice sounded a bit more heavier than the other one.
     That's right! I ate that cereal. What if it was poisoned?! I don't want to die! Not yet, not like this! Stupid, stupid me. Why didn't I just put it back in the fridge like any normal human being?! I still continue to panic. In my agitation I conjure up ridiculous ideas about the house being boobey trapped, and these small voices being serial killers. Haha, get it serial killers, cause I just ate their cereal. Saying things in my head meant to make myself laugh or feel a little better ended in a miserable fail.