A Page From My Diary

A relationship

(Selene's pic)

we talked everyday , every moment on the WhatsApp -may God bless it. It's really a useful App- we shared audios,pictures.. ; he likes rap songs so he has been sending me his performances; i admit it, it was so fun, but let not forget the bad side. I'm talking about his asshole side, yup even during our relation he was such a dick - sorry to the people who dislike cursing, i wasn't a fan to it either but i found out that it's a really important thing when you're mad.

 Back to our topic,  he always made me feel special, but in the same time not a big deal in his life. He made it clear that his goal in life is to be a programmer, nothing more or less, and nothing else matters. In each time i wanted to plan for a hangout, i should double check his schedule .It's made me feel like i'm nothing to him, like i'm a secondary thing, an entertaining  in his free time ; but when we met , he made me lose all my negative thoughts about him ,i don't even  know how he made it happen, he just knew what he had to do or say,but when i get back at home and analyse all his gestures, i end up with the  idea that i first began with, it was terrible and i'm surprised of how stupid i was , for fuck sake's he never hugged me for real , he did hugged me yeah !! ; but i think anyone can tell the difference between a real hug and a fake one.

 We used to fight a lot like literally a lot , at first it was fun to tease him and teasing me back, but then we get into a deep shit. It's became more serious than i expected; so we end up arguing  about a ridiculous things ;and not talking to each others for  days; can you believe it !! he used to get mad at me and stop talking to me for  fucking days, and i have to spend the whole  days trying to cheer him up, and with no damn responds, he was such a jackass . Even if it was his fault he ALWAYS find a way to blame it on me, like really always.. i used to ask myself is that how a relationship suppose to be ? since I've never been in a serious one.. because i put all my trust on Damon, because he asked to, and he promised not to break my heart, because he have the same heart that i have, and we all had born with the same one. Those aren't my words its his. But  instead he broke it to a million pieces .

I remember one time we planned to meet under a tree near  his house; and i waited him for an hour, a whole hour ,who the fuck let his girl waiting outside for him for an hour ???? besides i'm not really into the waiting thing in fact i hate waiting for people to come,i get angry if they made me wait for them ..and God knows how cold it was; Regardless the waiting part ,how awful for a girl to stand  by herself in a street where everyone can tell she's waiting for her boyfriend; and guess what ! he didn't showed up. I called him 7 times, i left 4 messages, with no response; i was so pissed ; then i sadly went home ... after maybe two hours ,we talked on WhatsApp he told me that the bus was late; and he hasn't paid his phone bill yet. But he could've called from his friend's phone, he could've just asked him to borrow a call, but he didn't. Or he could took a Taxi, but he didn't. And when he came from the bus station he didn't even passed by the tree that we were suppose to meet under, the tree that i was standing behind and waiting to see his stupid face for a whole fucking hour in a freezing weather , ..nope he just went home.

 i wrote an angry speech and sent it to him ,though he didn't gave me the reaction i was waiting for, he was just answering with such cold answers, he didn't even put up an effort to make me feel good. then he kept ignoring me and so did i.

i changed my WhatsApp profile picture to a hotty girl with a really good looking ass, not even a half hour, and  his message bump onto my face, i actually knew he was going to, i actually did it in purpose, because i know how much he loves attractive girls- it's another problem we'll get to it later-he curiously asked if the girl in the picture was me- it was her back to the camera so you couldn't really tell who it was; 

I answered "No,it's my friend ".

Damon " send me the pic".

me"no, I won't".

Damon "why not ?"

me "because i'm mad at you".

Damon " for the last time i'm asking you.. send me the fucking pic".

-i didn't have to look at his face to realize that he got mad at me for daring to be mad at him, thought i answered with the most Provocative word to him -"no".

Damon "alright then as you want".- of course he didn't really meant it , actually what he meant is " i won't argue with you till you get back to your mind " which is always saying yes to him.

 a lot of thought was running in mind, but getting dump wasn't one of them, I wasn't looking in distance in my relationship with him , i didn't want to look far away, because i knew it had no future .