T'was the night before Christmas, when old Mommy said
"Go put up your clothes then go right off to bed.
The presents are under the tree over there:
boxes of brushes and maybe some hair!"
The children were snuggled in blankets and such
while father said quickly, "This matters much!
Santa won't come if you're wide awake!
We already baked him a 3-layer cake!"
Then on the side porch there arose such a clatter,
we jumped and ran to see what was the matter
Tobie beat everyone to the dirty glass door
like he had been freed from a terrible bore.
Zoë and lulu had found an old man
who was riding inside of a ugly old van.
And what to my wandering eyes should appear
but two giant elves and a giant reindeer !
"Where am I?" the old driver said.
"Oh where? Oh where? Have I been misled?"
"No, we're right," said the giant reindeer.
"See that weird guy? That means were here!"
'Hey Devon! Hey Daddy! Hey mommy and Tobie!
Emma and Britain and lulu and Zoë!
What do they mean see that weird guy?"
"Who cares? oh, who cares? Just get him some pie."
As Britain rushed off to get some slices of pie,
the reindeer jumped up and flew into the sky
to the stars and the moon the caribou flew.
Everyone else went up with him too!
Then, all of a sudden we rose from the porch
and all of the lights went out like a torch.
We screamed and we hollered and made noise like a banshee
and then the big elves started laughing "He he"
We screamed, "What's so funny?" and looked at the van.
"Get us down from here as only you can!"
The lights came back on and then we did see
that the old man in the van was really Bruce Lee!
His muscles--oh so scary so strong and so big.
He might hit Devon 'cause he stole the last fig.
With his Japanese accent he said, "Goodbye"
and if he has ninjas, were all gonna die.
With the van in reverse and his mirrors all ready
he grabbed the last of our holiday jelly
He ran with it all the way to the van.
With a laugh he yelled, "Merry Christmas suckers!"
