How it all started

"Chapter 2"

                  

The thought of him never left my mind. It's like if I was haunted, haunted by him. But it was time to move on, it was time to forget everything that we had , all the little things that we shared, even though it felt like, it was real, even though it made every scar , that I had , disappear.

Suddenly the phonerang , it was him, again. Every part of me started to shake, fear surrounded me, the fear of weakness,but I couldn't keep myself from answering

"Maya wait, please , don't hang up". I couldn't keep myself from enjoying his sensual voice.

"Why are you calling?". He took a deep breath and replied

"I need to explain myself  , Maya ,I need to tell you the reasons why I left". I thought for a moment and asked myself, Do I really want to know why he left? Could I handle the truth? But it was my right to know so I responded

"I m hearing". Suddenly the tone of his voice became so warm

"Maya, before anything else I want you to know that ,I never thought about anybody else , but you , you were always in my deepest dreams and in my mysterious mind, I couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't handle that you're not here , next to me , I couldn't handle the fact that you may be with someone else" he took a profound breath and continued "I had a fear , the fear of losing you , and the fear of seeing you with someone else ,I love you.". He cried.

I didn't know what to do, what should I say? What should I answer? That I love him? That I felt the same way? That I wanted him so bad? How could I confess such things after all the misery that I have been through? Because of him, How could I be so sure that he is not going to hurt me again? Do I want to feel all that pain again? Do I want to cry till I fall asleep?. No I don't. Sometimes love isn't enough to keep two people together. Maybe it was my time to move on, because in the end everything happens for a reason no? I was so confused, but I had to answer I had to say what i have been keeping in my heart for those past months.

"You left, without even saying good-bye, without telling me why!, you left me waiting for your return, and you never came back!. Do you know how it feels? To wait for the one that you love , hoping that he is going to come back, but he doesn't? Do you know how much it hurts? To stare at the pictures , to find his sweater in your closet but you stop for a minute and you remind yourself that he is gone, and he was never coming back? .I started to cry. "Do you know how it feels to dream about the person that you love and to wake up, and realize it was just a dream? Of course not, you don't , because you were the one who left without even saying good-bye, and I was the one who stayed, crying every single night, hoping you will be back, to wipe my tears, filling my desires ." I stopped for a while, I heard him crying, my heart melted each time I heard him exhale, I took a deep breath and said

" I'm done, I had enough."

"NOO! Don't hang up ,I'm so sorry" and with the sexiest voice he continued "Baby, I'm here now, I'm back. Please don't hang up, don't you want to know why I left? Baby please be nice, I love you ."

With a strong voice I replied "Good-Bye Dustin". I hung up the phone-call with tears in my eyes.

Yes his name was Dustin, my beloved Dustin.