Healed by a long distance friendship(but why it feels beyond it?)

when he say that he loves me

For a day I feel neglected by him, he is so busy that we no longer chat the way before, its been two weeks since we met online but many things change,  I know I became to dependent on him, not a day or hour that I don't crave for his presence even if its only virtually. He still has an open communication with his fling,  they are having a long distance relationship, which i tried to tell him to figure it out what he really want to do with his life.  I always give him advise and vice versa, we are two people who came together because of our broken life, right now he is confused that's what he always tell me.  The truth is I started to feel something for him, but I know that I wont be doing anything about it because he is not free, and his life is really a f*** up one.  Last night I told him about what I feel every time he is to busy to answer me.  After all we made a deal to always be honest.

We talked a lot of stuff, him being to friendly to other women that lead to those women to develop a feeling for him, He told me that he never in his lifetime been so honest and too open to another individual, and weather I admit it or not I'm very flattered an honored that he trusted me.  I feel the same to him also.  It was only him that I told all my darkest secrets, all those things that happen to me that makes me an invalid emotionally, physically and psychologically for almost 4 years.  And know both of us are helping each other to be strong, to be able to withstand the many trials in our individual life.

I feel connected to him and I wish he is to me also.  He told me something change in him, I thought it was for his wife or for his fling but boy I was wrong, He told me that in a very weird way he "LOVES ME". I don't know how to react because I know that we only meet for two weeks, But he does.

I wish I could just accept his current status and don't mind the moral code that our society uphold, I know in there place they have divorce but deep inside me I can't be happy knowing that I broke a family.  No matter how would I feel for him in the future but still I will always do what is right.

But as what he says we should not close our doors since we don't really know what lays ahead.

So that's it for today, It's a major turn of events in our lives, but one thing I know, I don't want to lose him.  I rather have him as a friend for a life time that a lover that will not last because of the circumstances that we are in.

come and join me once again in my journey, I really don't know what tomorrow brings

10/28/15  1:56 pm

'till we meet again.