Heart of a Deputy (Heart of Colorado #2)

Chapter Four

Buddy, in his confused state, decided to step out until she stopped. Most women were very private, and this might prove most embarrassing if he stood while she remained ill. A few minutes passed before he thought it was safe to go back in.

“Sally? Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead, Buddy." She said, too ill to mince words.

"What do you mean when you say 'baby'?” He asked, gently, knowing full well it was very possible for her to be with child. It had been three months since she left the brothel. Three months since they’d met. Three solid months since he’d put an end to the menace and brought Lottie and Sally back to Erie with him. “When were you going to tell me? You know I’ll take care of you.”

In her shame and destitution, Sally broke into sobs; something she’d done more lately than ever before in her life. Buddy was at her side, crushing her head into his chest.

“I-I was ... a-afraid you’d walk away and never speak again to me, so I wasn’t going to tell you. Not at all.” She began bawling again. Buddy wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her. That’s all he could do. He didn’t want to think about the “what-ifs” and the “coulda beens.”

Sally started to calm a little and she pulled her head back to look at him. “If you want to leave, I’ll understand. I don’t expect anything from you, Buddy.”

“Who’s the father? Do you know?” The tenderness in his voice and his eyes were enough to bring her to her proverbial knees.

She shook her head in answer to his question, attempting to hold the next onslaught of tears at bay. “I want to believe I’m carrying Matthew’s child. I do, with everything in me. But in that life, a woman never knows for sure. He was the…” she averted her eyes, not wanting to hurt this very gentle man. She dropped her voice to a barely-audible whisper. “Matthew was the last man. There hasn’t been another since.”

Buddy pulled her close, saying nothing. He couldn’t think of anything to say. No words came to comfort and he wasn’t going to make promises out of a feeling of duty or obligation. No. If they married, it would be because they loved each other, not just out of necessity.

“Buddy: Say something.” She begged.

“Do Mamie and Tom know?” Buddy asked.

“Yes.” She chuckled at his innocent question. “But, that’s not what I meant. I want to know what you‘re thinking, feeling. Are you angry? Are you going to dismiss me like every other man I’ve ever known?”

Buddy shook his head, a small smile gracing his face, causing his dimples to appear just a little.

“If only I could make you see; somehow help you understand. I’m not that kind of man, Sally. When I make a promise to protect, care for, help a person, I honor that vow. I’ve never had a reason to go back on my word, and I won’t start now.” A strong hand moved the hair that had fallen once again into her eyes. “I told you that your past meant nothing, and I stand by that. Now, with a babe growing in you, I have even more reason to help you, stand by you, and to protect you. Someday, I hope you’ll see how much I care for you.  But, for now, I have some thinking to do, and a vandal to catch. Will you be alright until Mamie is home?”

“Naturally. I don’t plan on doing more than resting.”

“Thank you for telling me.” He kissed her forehead before walking out.

*****

As she watched the Deputy turn and walk out, Sally couldn’t withhold her tears. She didn’t cry because she was upset, but rather because she was relieved. It felt good to share her burden. She still wasn’t sure what to do, but now she knew she would have someone to lean on. Buddy would make someone a wonderful husband someday. He already had once. Sally cried harder, knowing it wouldn’t be her. Not that a husband was in her future, but if it were, Buddy wouldn’t be a bad one to have. He was attentive, caring, and brave.