Tracy's POV
My name is Tracy and I am 20 years old. I wasn't the best looking girl in high school due to my acne and maybe....just maybe my bright pink hair gave me too much attention. I always wanted to be different but at the same time I wanted to fit in. That obviously doesn't make sense.
I am turning 21 this year and looking forward to meeting someone. Yes, I'm still single. No, I no longer have bright pink hair or acne. I am now a brunette but average looking. With make up I would give myself an 8 but without I prefer not to say. I work in a church and I arrange funerals....yeah, I was desperate for a job especially after I finished college and didn't want to continue studying. I regret it because all my friends are enjoying uni life and I'm over here sitting just working when I could have been studying law. Oh well, I would say I enjoy my job but that would be a lie but it has helped me to control my emotions, especially when a funeral is taking place.
I do get to catch up with friends and they always try to bring along a "friend" for me because they don't want me to feel left out. They all have someone and some have been together since high school. I always wanted to be with someone who I've shared so many memories with. They're so lucky, I'm happy for them all. I do get a little depressed because I never get approached by anyone even though I'm such a bubbly person as far as I'm aware. Just don't judge me because I arrange funerals.
My plan this year is to become more seen. I think I might need to find a new job as it mighy put off a potential partner. Maybe I should get an office job and you know....find a suitef fella. Nah, need to stop dreaming. I watch too many movies and I every time I watch a movie I feel as if it's real. Like when I watched Toy story, I seated my dolls up in on line (I had a secret obsession for barbies which no one knows about, even in high school). So, I stood there starring right into their eyes and whispered "go on...talk, I know you can talk. Please man, I want to talk to you". I guess that didn't work out well because my parents walked in my room while I was investigating....well they kind of gave the cassette away. I think that's enough information on how they reacted.
No one really understood me. I always used to get the wrong image because people never understood my personality. One minute I was with dolls the next minute I was picking up worms from the garden and making racing tracks out of soil. That was one of the reasons I coloured my hair pink. Not because I liked it but because I wanted to be recognised as something I am potraying myself as but I guess that was not the real me. I just want to be myself now and I want to know how it feels to be loved. My parents did love me a lot but I had no siblings and with time things just went a little edgy and my parents kind of...separated but they went back together a year later (I was 15 then). Since then things just aren't the same anymore.
It's like my only aim in life is to find someone who will love me for I am and not just because they are related to me. I have lost hope because there are plenty of fish in the sea for guys so they would never pick me. I don't even dress girly but inside I am pretty girly and emotional. I just prefer to stay comfortable in jeans and a long top.
I have moved out as I wanted to be more independent but I end up having dinner almost everyday with my parents. At least I get away with the things a lot easier since they got back together. I never thought they would allow me to move out, in fact, I was only joking but then I just played along (typical me).
