Once upon a time, a mermaid went into a sloth boot camp. They did exercises like vampire hunting and witch capturing.
She met a very hunky sloth named Brucey. They started to talk. If you know what I mean. "Give us directioners!" Screamed Brucey (if ya know what I mean).
"I LOVE HARRY STYLES!" Yelled mermaid (if ya know what I mean...) Brucey began to chant the number "69."
"69, 69, 69, 69, 69," chanted the rest of the bootcamp. It was like a signal. They saddled up their harpoons and were off to find all the directioners.
69 minutes later (if ya know what I mean,) they brought back an unconscious directioner.
While they placed him beside the fire they began to chant once again. "Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice to our slothy god!"
The mermaid yodelled with joy and jumped onto the unconscious man, ripping off his shirt (if ya know what I mean,) and bit into his man boob.
Brucey acted quickly. Suddenly, he was on the directioner along with the mermaid sinking his teeth in the other fleshy man boob. "SALMON SHOES" screamed Brucey. It was another signal. At once, the rest of the sloths threw Brucey, the mermaid, and the directioner in the fire.
All three of them began to yodel the words, "SACRIFICE, SACRIFICE, LET US BE YOUR SACRIFICE, OH GREAT SLOTHY LORD!"
The other sloths gathered around the fire holding hands and licking each others faces. They started to sing happy songs as the sacrifices yodelled in the fire.
As the smell of burning hair and dead bodies filled the air, the rest of the sloths sat down to have a nice meal. They couldn't wait 'til next year's sacrifice. It was 7173013/16/ the happiest time of the year!
