Lights Please

CHAPTER 8 PART 1: CAN I LIVE?

Tess

I wasn't working today and had only had one class, Zoe was stomping around the apartment packing and not telling me a single thing that was going on in her life so I decided to sit out at Starbucks, buy some overpriced coffee and get some work done. I'd be seeing Jermaine later tonight and was actually really excited; some local DJ had arranged for him to play a show tonight... It was just a small club venue, nothing big, but it was perfect for him because he was just trying to get his name out there and trying to get some exposure. It'd be the first time I'd seen him ever perform. I mean, I'd heard his music loads of times but I'd never actually seen him on stage interacting with a crowd, so it should be fun.

Afterwards I'd probably crash at his, we hadn't really hung out so much this past week. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to receive a text from Aleisha.

LEISH<3: we have to go for drinks before the showcase tonight doeeee x

I chuckled lightly before typing a response.

Me: sounds good girl :) meet you back at the apartment?

Leisha and I were gonna get ready together for tonight and eat something, hang out and catch up a bit before meeting the guys at the club. We would've invited Zoe to join us tonight but she was on her bullshit– she hadn't been talking to us, she'd been spending all her time out of the house, probably with Dex or who the fuck ever, I wasn't even worrying about her– it just stung like a bitch that we'd been tight for so long and all of a sudden she was just acting distant and up and moving? Aleisha had told me she had found a place with D, we didn't even know she was looking– but whatever, that shit wasn't gonna bother me tonight. I was gonna see my baby.
–
Like Hov said it Can I Live?
Aye dear Lord, Can I live? Hey!
Now am I Living to get paid just slaves for a wage (all week)
I can't do no 9 to 5 told my momma (sorry)
I can't do no suit and tie, no I want the (glory)
If you knew me know my life is like a movie starring me
Pardon me, if it seems that I'm following my dreams
I ain't reading off the script that they picked (for me)
I ain't pissed, naw could'ntgive a shit (hardly)

I was stood in the front row with Leish, Mike, Dex and Ib watching Jermaine perform. We were all yelling and hollerin' during his 20 minute set. He played the songs from the mixtape that wasn't finished and I was almost shocked as I watched how the crowd reciprocated him and his music and his story– let's not talk about how fucking fine he looked while he was up there. But there was something about J when he was on stage. It was a club that almost full of people yet he had the ability to perform and connect to each and every single person who was out there. There was one thing though that I did not see coming and that I was not prepared for at all– the screaming girls. I knew my man was fine and I knew he was crazy talented– the fact that all these girls were screaming for him weirded me out. And maybe that was something that I had to learn to live with because this was the career path that he was trying to follow.

It made me uneasy, let me not lie, I love and support anything that Jermaine does but the fact that he wanted this meant that it came with the entire lifestyle and the thought of that worried me– hoes after every show, groupies, money and drugs– I just I didn't want that to happen... I wish there was a way where he could follow his dreams without any of those side effects; but maybe I was thinking too far ahead because right now, in this moment my baby was killing it and I was grinning from ear to ear watching him on that stage doing what he loves to do.

"I told y'all this nigga was mad talented– I fuckin' told y'all!" Ib got all hyped up yelling... It was true Ib was the one who pushed him and helped him realize that he could in fact make his dreams come true.