One Day and The Next

On that Night

People have asked me about what happened on the night that everything went to hell for me. What caused me to do those things? What cashed me to turn into what I am today?
I was married, her name was Debbie. We didn't have what you could call the most stuck-together of marriages. I mean quit frankly every moment we were away from each other was probably better for one another. I'm the end she was still my wife and I loved her.
I decided to leave a meeting early with my fellow alcoholics seeing as my sponsor Jack failed to show up that night. I knew something was bizarre about that night from the moment Jack didn't pick up his phone when he didn't show up to the meeting. That's two things Jack never did, not pick up his phone, and not come to meetings.
I had tried to call Debbie as well but she hadn't been answering me all day which had come to no surprise.
My suspicions grew even larger when I had seen Jacks car parked outside mine and Debbie's apartment complex.
I remember looking up at out window and seeing our bed room light was turned on but the rest were off.
People think that was the night I killed Jack, but it wasn't. No, that was the night my whole life got flipped upside down. I don't remember much about that night except running to the nearest liquor store I could find and drowning my self in vodka. After that everything seemed red and blurry.
They say when you go insane your mind is split in two different places on whether you should do the things your about to do or not. Not me, my mind was in one place and that was just to make sure that Jack and Debbie felt as much pain as the possibly could and the largest amount of time I could get them to feel it.
After I had broken my three year sobriety I then recall wrapping a towel covered in gasoline from another car and wrapping it around a shovel I had found in a alley beside the complex.
After that I recall opening up his gas tank shoving the shovel inside and lighting the towel on fire.