Why Still Stay ( MIEFER FanFiction )

PERPLEXED

"Mika, please no, no, no tell me you're just confused and nervous or sad for him just please don't do this. Babe please."

Kiefer is back hugging me. His hug were tight and I can feel the rising and falling of his chest coupled with deep and heavy breathing. I'm closing my eyes as tears escaped and sobs were felt as my shoulders is shaking. Emotion is real high.

"Kief, just three days, I want to think straight, without you without everybody, it may sound weird but, it just came naturally last night, yung takot, bigat ng damdamin, lahat lahat bumalik like a nightmare you're right I'm confused too added the guilt feeling for Joshua, I need to think straight, I need yes space, I'm sorry."

I felt his hug loosened and I heard him sigh. I felt he took a few steps away. My hand was automatically transferred to my mouth as I tried to cover my shock for I heard the smashing sound of the vase as it hit the wall. Slowly I faced him, and I saw Kiefer facing the window, hand on his nape and the other one on his waist. I remained glued on my position. Rubbing my palms, wanted to hug him and say sorry. But what's been said cannot be retrieve.

"I'm sorry about that."

He managed to say still massaging his nape.

I wanted to hear myself in silence.
I wanted to just hide in my sanctuary.
All happened so fast.
Like before.
Unexpectedly.
And I'm afraid to get hurt.
Deja Vu.

"Miks, ginawa ko naman lahat right? I faced everybody, I talked to everyone, ok not everyone but I'm trying!!! I'm getting there! We are getting there! Ok naman lahat e! Wala namang naging problema, pero bakit bigla ka nag preno? I'm sorry for the fear and confusion Mika, alam ko it's hard for you because of what happened to us years ago, and you know how sorry I am! I've paid my dues, I've suffered more than enough for Pete's sake! At ngayon after what happened, sasabihin mo you need space?! At yung Joshua na yan why can't you just get rid of him?!"

Kiefer is now in front of me my hands covering my mouth I can't stop my sobs. I heard him sigh again and my gaze is trailing him as he slumped his body on the couch. So disappointed and hurt. He then lift his face and his gaze met mine. I then slowly motioned my way to him and kneeled in front, my hands cupping his face. He then hold my hand and we just remained silently staring at each other. I bit my lip before talking.

"Alam ko, wala ka naman ginawa dahil lahat nagawa mo na. And I'm so happy na nagawa mo na akong panindigan. Thank you. It's just that pagbigyan mo muna ako sa tatlong araw Kief, mag isip, huminga, maging ako, and as much as I wanted to get rid of Josh I just can't, sa gusto mo o hindi he will and is a part of me, he was there when everything was so messy. He helped me put back the pieces Kief, that guy will always be special."

I heard him sigh again and took my hands on his cheeks, he gripped it tighter and hugs it caressing it with his face. Then bowed down looking at me while still holding both of my hands on his chest.

"Na ako dapat gumawa right? Na ako dapat nandun, pero dahil gago ako iba pumuno."

Then kissed the back of my hand now he is playing with my palm. I'm still sitting on the floor looking up at him.

"Pero ako naman mahal mo di ba Mika? Alam mo bang nakakatakot bitawan itong mga kamay mo? Kasi alam ko anytime marami at ang daming gustong humawak nito e. Pero dahil mahal kita I will let you do what you want, but it doesn't mean I'm letting you go. Because it will never happen. Never again. Ang sakit pala hingan ng space noh? Nakakapraning. Nakaka low ng self esteem. I'm so sorry for letting you feel that babe."

Then he leaned his forehead to mine hugged me and locked me in between his legs. I'm rubbing his back. As I'm wiping my own tears. Feeling the hurt he is feeling right now. The King Eagle is crying.