SUICIDE OUTBREAK: Round Two

Cure #2: La Reine de Coeur

Cure #2: La Reine de Coeur

In this world where injustice ruled, I strongly doubted if I could survive. When people seemed to favor merely to perfection, I wondered if there would be a slight chance that I could fit in.

Like a caged pet, my parents decided to hide me against the cruel world. They said that they loved me that much and the world was too cruel for me to live in, and I wholeheartedly believed them. It took me fifteen years to decipher that they didn't care for me. I even marveled if this misery was meant to be felt, for this heart of mine shattered into million pieces. I should have known earlier, that they already broke my heart, the first time they had laid their eyes upon me. I wished they killed me, the moment I was born. Not like this - a prisoner - a soul with no freedom nor hope.

And there, I was drowning- over and over again. I felt like even God abandoned me, too.

Hissing in pain, I slightly rubbed my hands together, as I sat down quietly on an empty bed. White sheets, crimson blanket, and pallid pillows weren't folded yet. I slept late than usual. My head hurt like hell. Cursing, I put the heel of my hand against my forehead to combat the ache. Somehow, I was grateful that I hadn't vomited, or hadn't felt nausea...just yet. So, I took a glance of a cement wall painted with bright azure, wondering if what it would feel like to actually glimpse the blue sky outside. It was a effortless dream, but it seemed like a complicated idiocy.

My weary thoughts came back when I heard the tickling of an old clock, which hanged in the right corner of the wall. That melancholy sound was my sign of hope in a hopeless kind of way.

It was a sound of freedom.

At exactly six o'clock in the evening, someone tried to unlock the steel door. Those tiny noises reverberated onto the four corners of my room. My heavy heart began pounding fast as I stared his shadow crawling onto the floor. I'd never been so happy in my life, until now. He was a mystery, yet, seeing him tonight made my eyes watered. He stood at the door with his mischievous grins, and he looked so lavishly handsome whenever he smiled at me. I portrayed him like a happy-go-lucky Cheshire cat who had no fears to the world. For that, I envied him.

"You're here!" I couldn't take my excitement, and I gave him a sheepish smirk. "You came back, stranger! I thought you've forgotten me."

"Why wouldn't I?" he said, as he put his whitish cat mask upon his face, covering his charming smile. "You're going out tonight, right?" He offered his hand, but my confusions scared me to death. I wasn't sure about breaking my parent's law or even dreaming a bit more.

I hesitantly gazed upon his mask, because this was too good to be true.

He was too good to be true.

"You should wake me up. What you're offering is fiction. Freedom for me is something beyond reachable. Thank you for your help, but you can leave now. Just leave me here. For I know, wherever I'll go, no one can accept me. Maybe, just maybe, freedom can attain through dying."

I closed my eyes as I tried my best not to break in. My heart was so heavy that I felt life was pointless. Nothing was right, because I was nothing itself.

"How can you say such a thing, little one? You haven't even fight. You think you want to die, but in reality you just want to be saved."

That wasn't true. How would I want it when it fact, I was already dead? Living wasn't about only breathing. It was more than that.

"Come," he uttered calmly, "I will make you see what freedom means. Freedom isn't about cowardice. You have to fight for it. You have to believe it exists."