35 Last Days

Day 2

DAY 2-

I had woken up to 4 boys standing by my bed with tear stained faces. Liam sat down next to me and told me your funeral was going to be tomorrow. I asked what he was talking about. I guess I had forgotten you had moved on to a better life because when Liam told me I started crying again. This time harder. Louis pushed Liam aside and held me in his arms. His hugs were nothing compared to yours Niall's. I miss your hugs. Hopefully I'll get another one day soon enough.

Anyways, Louis rocked me back and forth stroking my hair telling me everything was going to be alright. When in reality nothing was going to be okay. If everything was and is going to be okay then Louis Liam, zayn, Harry, and I wouldn't have all been crying and you still would be alive.

I begged Liam not to make me go to your funeral but he said it would help me. Ya because seeing your lifeless body being lowered into the ground never to come out will help. I miss you Niall. I can't even think straight let alone walk right.

Liam brought me breakfast in bed and forced me to eat which I just threw right back up. I wasn't hungry anyways. The boys eventually left and told me they'd see me tomorrow. If I decided to come.

Should I go? I don't know. I much rather stay home curled up in a ball in the corner like I had been doing the past day and a half.

I just have one question. If you could just come back for 5 minutes and answer this Niall: Why'd you leave? Why'd you have to make if so painful? Why'd you have to take that bottle of pills? You didn't even leave a note. Did you not love me anymore?

I hadn't seen you since the day before. You told me you were going to Harry's flat and instead you went to the playground? And Killed yourself? Why the playground Niall? Just wondering....

I guess I should go to bed now. I've decided to be a kind person and go tomorrow. I love you Niall. I always have always will. And don't you forget it. See you tomorrow....