A broken heart or a broken girl

Page 1

          

         When dealing with a heart you have to be careful not to break it, you only ever get one.

       I awake to the smell of cinnamon hot chocolate, Lans must be making breakfast. "Maybe I can sleep a little more" I think. "Kate wake up! you'll be late for school" Mark yelled from behind the door, he opened  it and leaned against the door frame. "Just two more minutes" I whined. "I just gave you 15 more, come on you're late!!" "Ok fine" I scoffed kicking the blankets off me. "Hey what's with the attitude?" I just rolled my eyes at him, I walked down the hall and locked myself in the bathroom. After about ten minutes of combing my hair and brushing my teeth Alice knocks "Hey I'm looking for my homework are you done yet?" I let her in with a smile "sure". I walk to the kitchen to find Lans making eggs and sausage along with mugs of hot chocolate. I checked my little black watch (the one my mother bought for me, the watch I never lost) 7:45! I'm late! I grabbed my backpack in a hurry, "hey what about-" I ran past the counter, before Lans could finish that sentence I hugged him and hooked a croissant into my mouth. "Love ya bye" I say to him hugging tight until I see the bus coming. I grab my keys and burst out the door, running like a maniac to the bus stop. Luckily the bus was the wrong one, the one I take goes in the opposite direction. When it finally does appear I notice a singulare feather fall onto my shoulder, I snatch it before it has a chance to escape and press it inside my notebook. 

         In school I ran past my locker, juggling with the lock. My books almost falling out, I stuff about 5 notebooks and last night's homework into my black little tote bag (the bag my mother gave to me, the one with unraveled edges and straps falling apart). My water bottle sticking out. I slam the door and sprint to class as the late bell starts to ring. I sit at my desk, pencil in hand, writing down the whole stupid essay that's on the screen. I glance to my right and catch Jax staring at me then give me a side eye, I quickly look away. Why did I have to feel embarrassed? Why did he have the power? He was clearly blushing too! Okay... you may need some context, Jax and I dated for about a month, from December 6th to January 3rd when he said my friends were being "too much" and he couldn't do it anymore. Jax, the boy I never wanted to talk to, the boy's name I never want to hear again (His name is Jack but it's easier for me to call him Jax, all my friends know hearing his name is like a curse for me) I grieved for days after our breakup and YET I can't help but still like him, and everyone knows neither can he. But with no way to prove it... "KATE!" Mr mathews says, I jerk my head up, facing him "what?" I ask almost whispering. "what did you write?" almost tipping his glasses off his face. I gulp as I make up anything I can make up in my head "I look into my hands, my tears dropping like the rain surrounding me, The car windows dripping clear liquid as the buildings behind me get smaller and smaller... and uhmm that's it" I say shyly waiting for the class to respond. "Very good Kate" I smile politely as the mean girls (Nancy, Marie, Casie, and so many others I can't even name them all) stare at me with disgust. But my friend Jowana, who sits right next to me is clapping and cheering like I just won a gold medal. I know she's just trying to be nice, she's been there doing the same thing since I met her in 5th grade, I really love her she's always had my back. But I know nobody else gives a crap about my love for english or writing, let alone me making a good story. I open my notebook and start sketching ideas for my next poem, what I spend most of that class doing. 

       In lunch I opened my notebook to where I placed the feather, using it as a bookmark. The page where JAX was spelled in huge letters across it, with little notes filling the rest of the page. "His eyes are as big as the ocean" "I love the way he walks" "the way he smells" "when he's close to me" "his kindness" "his smell" "the way he smiles" "the sparkle in his eyes".  *I am sitting in the chair next to him, in front of a huge classroom window watching the snowflakes fall. Jack and I are playing a game, he explains it to me and I am rarely paying attention because i am staring into the black whole of his eyes that suck me into love for him. In the middle of the game I lean towards him and Hug him by the waist, he calmly leans back in his seat and slowly wraps his arms around my back letting me hide my face in his hoodie. I stay there for only a few second feeling his warmth in the cold winter, and although it feels great I realize now I felt nothing when I hugged him. he reaches into his pocket "oh by the way, I won this in science class... and I wanted you to have it" he says pulling out a tiny bag with two little chocolate balls wrapped in gold paper. He gives the small bag to me, I open it as I thank him with a big smile. i eat one of the chocolates then we both fight over who should get the last one, he pushes my hand away when I offer it to him, the same thing goes on until we just give it to a friend instead.* "Kate..." "Kate" "KATE!" "huh?" I look up from my book slamming it shut. 

         It's Oscar, "Sophia asked if you want to play tag with us" Just for context again, Sophie or as we call Sophia and Oscar are my two absolute best friends for life! (Oscar and I used to like each other a year ago but we decided to stay friends, we're more like siblings anyway. "Always arguing, always fighting over nothing" as people say, doing anything to get the other one in trouble, but then sometimes we do anything to help each other. And Sophie is like my favorite twin sister, we always agree on the same things, like the same plays, the same musicals, the same animals, same color, almost same age! Oscar is like an older brother to me and Sophie and I are the younger twin sisters who love to make his life difficult.) "yeah of course!" I say, "ok then... tag your it!!" He shouts tagging my arm. "Oh your dead!" I say running after him, of course giving up 5 seconds later because I don't have the damn speed of lightning in order to catch up to him.