Shall We Try Again?

Last Night

The morning sun is heating the house and it frees the light rays that are touching my face. Maybe it's time to get out and walk a little by the shore. I grabbed my essentials, put on my favorite shoes, my white Adidas, and got out of the apartment.

The waves are yet sleepy and the breeze is comfy, I breathe some of its air and put my towel on the sand. I lie on it and close my eyes, hoping that my problems run away in an instant and I forget everything. I don't use the earbuds, nor the phone, just want to relax after this last night.

I feel that love is a limbo between happiness and tragedy.This world, the social networks and people in general are killing romances and genuine connections. Always overcomplicating simple topics such as love and understanding each other. Maybe I'm like that too, at least I try not to, but last night was... strange, I really pissed off Irene:

"So, wanna drink something?"

"Yeah, I want a glass of water to be honest, nothing fancy today."

"Right. The other night we may drank too much of apple cider.", I asked the barman to bring the water and one peach iced tea.

"Have you received the answer already?"

"Nop... It's taking much longer than I expected it..."

"Hm... I think that's normal actually, a friend of mine, Mel, she did the same as you and received 2 months after, it seems like 'Pear' has lots of engineers here in Portugal, so it's difficult to answer all applications."

"I guess, I'm not confident as I was in the beginning, I'll just wait. Until then, I hope to find a part-time for me to start earning money, now that I started living alone is difficult to pay for my goods compared to as it was with my parents' help."

"Understandable, I would say that's how every young adult's life is nowadays... I'm working at Starbucks, they pay well, if interests you I could get you in."

"Thanks, I think that's a great idea, and if the money is good I may be fine during a year, at least.", I felt the conversation too heavy and full of responsibilities, she is acting slightly different from the other day.

The barman came with the drinks, we stayed quiet while we opened the bottles to fill the glass. I think I'll get straight to the point.

"So, picking up on the conversation we had the other day, let's talk about loving someone nowadays?"

"Oh... I wasn't expecting that!", she seems to like, "But do you have something to say aside what we'd discussed? Or have you just picked the topic?"

"Yes, thinking about it I may have my opinion, and is quite different from yours. During our chat I remember you saying that people are too much occupied to love someone and that the future is uncertain, so it would be much more positive for humans to risk in love when they are '90% sure they are capable of'. Is this correct?", she stared at me while took a sip of water.

"Wow, how did you remember all of that?", is that so strange?

"Maybe since I have nothing to do, and since I like to please other people, I guess.", I'm being honest.

"Right... Yes, that's correct actually. But do not turn that into something bad, I think it is a fact what I said and the reason I don't like to gamble a romance.", she stared at me with confidence, perhaps waiting for me to refute her.

"I did not like the word 'gamble'. I don't think that love is a gamble, love is an experience, a feeling which it should attract humans and bring them together as a unit, a couple I mean.", I wanted to make myself clear, love is simple, we overcomplicate it.

"What if it fails? There're so many probabilities of failure.", she was taking the mathematics course, maybe that's why she is being picky right now.

"If it fails, it fails. You don't lose in love, you learn and grow with who you were. Most importantly you refine your connection with someone, it's simple as letting it into your life."

"And the time? You must study, work and live with a whole bunch of responsibilities, how can you have time for that?", I take my glass of iced tea and start drinking some of it, it was fresh and helped me think.

"Time is crucial, if you don't have patience or respect for time itself, you'll always think that loving someone is a burden for you, because it is at that point."

"So you agree it's a problem!".

"Yes, because you think it is."

"So I am the problem?", she pulls a face.

"No, I never said that, what I meant was... Actually, yes, you are the problem, I cannot simplify it more than this, and believe me I'm overcomplicating it already!", she stares in amazement.

"I thought you were going to respect my opinion and that's it, I didn't want you to think that I'm wrong.", oh shit, I ruined it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Yeah, you bet mister know-it-all. You see, that's why I don't want to start a relationship, because, you men, always act as robots. You think I overcomplicate things, but I actually respect your opinion, the real problem is that you care a lot about how I think regarding loving someone, and forget to make me in love with you, I just want to know more about your life, that's why I asked you about your job application, because I care."

"Even after I tell you that, you wouldn't want to have more dates with me, because your opinion tells me that I won't succeed in making you love me."

"Dumb man. You still don't understand, even with my faces and my tone, you are dumb. Goodbye.", she gets up and leaves paying her part of the bill.

Back at the beach, I still misunderstand what she told me, she should have been more explicit though. I'm tired of dates, enough of them, this was the last for sure, I need to find a job, and quickly!

"Rafa.", a face appears on top of mine.

"Irene?!"

"Hello.", she's still upset with me for sure.

"How do you know this place?"

"You literally told me in our first date, have you already forgot?"

"Oh, you're right, I'm sorry." I knew I was a bit harsh the night before, so it's the last opportunity I have to regain her friendship at least.

"Sorry for this, or what we spoke last night?"

"Both, but I'm going to be honest, I still don't understand what you were saying.", she laughs.

"Shall we try again?", she sits next to me, with her towel.

The End