Finding Home #SYTYCW15 #SpecialEdition

Finding Home Part 8

"I'm fine," Andie said. The denial was automatic, she didn't even stop to think about the words before she said them. But were they the truth? To be honest, Andie didn't know.

She'd thought she was fine for a long time now, but lately, she was beginning to wonder. Was Shawn right? Was she on the verge of breaking?

Andie's whole life had shattered into a million pieces with the death of her parents. She'd worked long and hard to put those pieces back together. She'd thought she'd managed it, not reassembling them, but fusing them back together, so that the broken sections of her heart, her soul, made a whole as seamless as a piece of glass. But maybe the truth of it was that Andie hadn't been looking too closely. Andie had the sickly feeling that if she could find the courage to look close enough, maybe, the clear glass of her life wasn't so clear after all. Maybe, she'd find thin, snaking, hairline cracks running everywhere, in all directions. And she was worried what one, hard blow might do those cracks.

***

When Conner had called the night before, Andie had been emotionally exhausted from spending the day with Diana at the hospital, toughing out her first chemo session. He understood that, but he knew that wasn't why she turned down his request for a date. She didn't trust him, didn't think that he could want her. He couldn't blame her, either, not when he'd told her that he'd never see her as more than a sister back on graduation night. But man, had he ever been wrong.

So he'd simply shown up this morning at her house, coffee in hand. It took an hour to convince her to go out with him, but he'd done it. He still couldn't quite believe that she was here with him now, as the canoe glided through the reeds, the soft shush of their dry leaves blended with the lap of water against the hull of the boat to make a quiet music. Conner's breath slowed, calmed, as stripes of sun and shade slid across his skin. Ahead of him, Andie's curls shone bright as the birch leaves that shimmered overhead.

He watched her, waiting for her to let go, to relax, but he could tell by the way that she sat, still as a sharp spire of granite, that she was afraid.

"Andie," he said, careful to keep his voice low and soothing. "We're not going to tip."

"No, I know." Her voice was high and shaky and she laughed a little at herself. "I know, but I can't stop worrying that we will."

"This is my job. I've spent the last eleven years becoming an expert at this. I've canoed white-water that regular people can't even get a big rubber raft down without tipping. I can handle this." He sliced the paddle effortlessly into the water, watching the shimmer of water droplets rain down as he lifted it again, brighter than any diamond in a store. And, making a split second decision, he changed their course. Instead of continuing to head up the river, deeper into the forest and away from the lake, he skimmed across the water toward the grassy bank on their right-hand side.

The bottom of the canoe shuddered as it beached on the sandbar beneath them. Conner leaped out and pulled the boat forward even more, until he knew it wasn't going anywhere. He held out his hand to Andie, helped her to her feet, then swung her up into his arms and waded through water so cold it made the bones in his feet ache, until he reached the shore. He tightened his grip slightly, feeling the warmth of her against him, the slide of her breasts against his chest, before depositing her on the grass.

He grinned when she stared at him, her eyes slightly wide, baffled. "Be right back," he said. He slogged to the canoe, lifted the rain jacket she'd thrown in the back. Underneath was the picnic basket and the armful of warm, wool blankets he'd cradled it with.

"Wow, you are smooth aren't you?" Andie asked, and for the first time the fear was gone from her voice.

Conner spread one of the blankets in the patch of sunlight at her feet. "It's a date, Andie. You don't really think a canoe ride by itself could be considered a date, do you?" He reached out and gave one of the little golden cows hanging from her earlobes a gentle spin.