Masked Melodies

Solace of the Waves

I keep telling myself its all a dream. I'll wake up in the morning and my mom will be downstairs, baking my favorite muffins, wrestling the boys to get out of bed and ready for school, while my dad is already at work. She'll tell me that shes so excited to see my dress that I picked out for the ball, and how she can't wait for me to attend it. Maybe I'll get to see their faces again and this horrible nightmare will go away. But I'm not sleeping, in fact I'm wide awake. The waves crashing against each other are too loud and they wont let me sleep. Its like a reminder, of what we used to find fun and enjoyment in, has now taken my parents away from me, away from us. 

I open my eyes to see its already dawn, and I dreamed the whole night away. I look out of my window, the same window I've been looking out since a child, seeing the memorial of candles, flowers, and stuffed animals on the beach, another reminder that this nightmare is real, that I'm never getting my parents back. The candles never stay lit though, the breeze is just too strong, and the flowers are scattered everywhere.  Like a stupid simile, for how scattered our lives are now.

I keep reliving the moment we found out in my head. The cops coming to the door, asking if there is an adult, asking if this was the Walker residence. I knew something was wrong because why else would cops and a chaplain show up to our house? Even then, I couldn't have imagined the horror about to come out of their mouths. 

They explained how there was a horrible storm. "Your parents called out to the Coast Guard, saying the storm was too bad. By the time they had gotten to their boat, it was halfway sunken, and we haven't recovered their bodies yet. We're so sorry for your loss." 

Recover their bodies.

Like my parents are some kind of treasure chest.

It just keeps echoing in my head. It felt like something was grabbing my throat, not letting a single sound out. I kept trying to scream, but nothing would come out. Monty and Kai had wrapped around me, crying and repeating "no". "No, they can't be gone," Monty screamed.

The officers faces had pure horror and sadness written all over them. Everyone knew our parents, everyone knew us. 

My phone has hundreds of missed messages and calls, all from friends, family, and random people giving their regards and best wishes to me. My head is pounding from a migraine, my face is a bit swollen from the crying every tear I have in me. I can hear someone walking up the stairs, probably one of my brothers, my poor baby brothers. We've never lost someone this close to us, we don't know the first thing about grief, or how to overcome it.

"Monty?" I asked loudly.

"No, it's Kai." he replies, walking into my room. It looks like he also stayed up the whole night.

"Monty isn't here, he stayed at Charlotte's last night." My heart sank a bit. Kai looks overwrought. Of course he is though, who wouldn't be?

"Oh, I'm sorry. He didn't tell me." I said looking down. I feel so lost, I've never had to be the keeper of my brothers, it was always mom.

"Did you stay up all night too?" I asked, hoping he had gotten at least a little rest.

"No. I couldn't sleep, too much kept me awake." he said, Coming to lay on my bed.

Kai has always been a person of few words. He keeps it short and simple, doesn't like conversation unless it's with his friends. The complete opposite of Monty, who is loud and obnoxious majority of the time.

"Yeah me too." I say hopelessly.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Not awkward silence though. We've always been like this. We can be silent together and be understanding of one another, like we're communicating telepathically. 

"Do you think we''ll be able to stay here?" he asks, sounding worried and upset.

I haven't even thought about that yet. Would they take us away from our home? I'm only 17, Monty is 16, and Kai 14, turning 15 in a few days. I'd be in over my head to think I could take care of us, of course money isn't a problem, we're very blessed and privileged in that way, but would that even matter?

"I hope so. Maybe a family member can stay with us until I'm 18." I replied, not so sure of my answer. 

We've only ever known Florida.

I look over to him, he looks so tired. He seems to be battling the same thoughts as me. Losing one parent is hard enough, but losing both at the same time, just feels impossible. His dark brown eyes started to get teary.

"Do you think they were scared?" his voice was trembling. My heart stopped for a moment, felt like a punch to the gut. My eyes started to water, even though I'm trying my best to keep them dry.

"I don't know. I would like to think that dad was brave." I smiled through the tears sliding down my face. He let a little smile out, but it faded quickly.

Realistically we both know they were scared. Being out in the middle of the ocean alone, knowing you can't control the weather, or the waves, must be so terrifying. I wonder if they held onto each other, knowing it was the last moment of their lives? Or maybe they kept trying to fight the relentless waves.

I stared out into the ocean, through my window. Wondering if they will ever find their bodies. They've had helicopters and boats out there all evening. Part of me still hopes that they found a buoy to hang onto, another part of me knows they would've found them by now if they did.

I look back at Kai, to see he's dozed off. Good, he needs sleep. I grab the blanket on the foot of my bed and cover him up, and head downstairs.

I step outside for some fresh air, the sun is rising. One whole night without my parents. 

I dial Monty's number, but it goes to voicemail. He probably turned his phone off, too many people reaching out. I text Charlotte, asking her if he's okay. They've been together for almost 2 years now, I'm glad he has her, she's an angel.

She replies back and said he's asleep, he'll be okay in time. She's lost her mom too. Cancer. Hopefully she'll be able to guide him, because I don't know what I'm doing.

I walk to the public beach, which is just across the street. I see people surfing, some kids from my school I'm sure. Just living life, as if people didn't just die out there, but then again, to them, it's just random locals, of course they wouldn't think twice. This might be the hardest part of it all, seeing people move on with their everyday lives, while mine has stopped.