Winter and Spring

David

A cold harsh light danced through the tattered lace curtains into the chilly bedroom. At the center of the sparsely furnished room sat a hand carved ash bed. A mound of blankets, quilts lovingly made by long forgotten old hands, and heaps of heavy winter clothes littered the bed. Buried like a hibernating bear David hid from the scalding light that entered through the easterly facing window.

"Damn sun," he muttered as he rose like one of the dead from his grave of fabric and warmth. David's lanky form stretched, his arms reaching nearly across the small room. His left finger tips just barely brushing the cedar wall; twenty five years old and he still seemed to be growing into his own skin. Padding quietly on naked feet David retreated from the sun like a cat from water into the small kitchen on the far side of the house. The tin percolator on the time stained counter called his name as the man moved slowly toward the sink. The phone call from the night before hung heavier on his mind than the whiskey induced hangover that hung over the rest of him.

"Mom look I appreciate the concern but I'm not moving back home. I like living up here and I'm happy where I am."

"David, honey it's been almost ten years. You have to forgive yourself. Burying yourself away with nothing but your own thoughts... it's just not healthy. David I'm terrified that I'll get a phone call one of these days that they-"

"MOM! That is not going to happen!"

David's hands trembled as he thought about it. "How could she possibly think I would resort to that? Sure, I hate myself but I would never take it that far. I would never take that step." He took a deep shaking breath as he set to work on the old percolator. Glancing out the window David's emerald eyes caught something out in the freshly fallen snow. The tin coffee maker clattered to the counter as it became clear they were footprints leading away from his front door into the deep freshly fallen snow.

"It isn't what you will do that worries me David..." His mother's words echoed in his mind. "It's just... Jonathon wouldn't have wanted you to go through life like this David. If you still refuse to come home at least promise me that you will protect yourself."

David fingered the thing faint scar below his left eye as flashes of that rainy night filled his mind. Cold metal, wet red stained glass, blazing hot fire, the burning smell of alcohol on his twin brother's dying breath. David stumbled away from the counter with a shout. It had been years since he had had a flashback of that horrible haunting night.

He wandered back into the small bedroom in a heavy daze. The thin worn cotton shirt slid over his shaggy chestnut hair exposing his skin to the biting cold. A gasp was yanked from his mouth by the cold tendrils that filled the air. The dark stain on his chest caught his eye as he ghosted past the mirror. The Celtic cross of black ink stood as an everlasting reminder of the moment his world shattered never to be the same. His emerald eyes tore away from the pair of dates in the familiar hand writing. "Forgive me John," he though.

It had been years since David had prayed or even though about it but something deep inside of him made him hit his knees there at the foot of the bed. "Please give me peace Father. I'm so tired of being alone, so tired of being cold. Have I been in this frigid hell that I've put myself in for long enough? Please give me peace that I might pull myself out of the grief and anger. I'm sorry for cursing you I can see now that my anger was wrongly directed. Jonathon was my twin, my mirror image. It was my stupidity that caused his death. Why God did you take him instead of me? I was the one that talked him into sneaking out that night. Please show me that I have made up for what I did! Give me some sort of sign that You have forgiven me."

Tears trickled down his cheeks like a stream from its emerald well spring. David brushed his cheeks and rose from the cold floor.

"I'm praying for you David, I want you to know that. Remember that God loves you, He's never forsaken you and He never will honey. No matter what you do, He will always forgive if you just cry out to Him." Once again his mother's words echoed in David's mind.

He quickly dressed. Heavy leather boots engulfed his feet; thick dense cloth in many layers covered his body shielding him from the biting cold that lurked outside his door. Once sufficiently dressed against the cold David took the rifle from above the stone mantle. It felt heavy in his hands and the barrel bit sharply at his exposed fingers. David smiled down at the familiar weapon. He and Jonathon had learned to shoot on that very gun.

"Hard to believe it's been so long," he muttered softly as he passed to the heavy solid door. They had been eight the first time that spring at their grandfather's cabin, the very cabin he was now the solo occupant of. With a loud grunt David yanked the door open, nearly blasted off his feet by the gale that pushed inside, a rude unwelcome guest forcing its way into the small home. Tugging up his scarf to cover his face David headed into the icy no man's land that awaited him.

Like a cat on silent feet David moved through the dense snow across the yard following the tracks like an expert. The phantom strides were nearly identical to his own and David felt his heart leap into his throat for a moment. Deeper and deeper into the snowy world the tracks went hauntingly leading him. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but think he had been along with path before... but when? He pushed the thought aside and kept moving. The gun in his hands had begun to feel like leaded dead weight. Like the white rabbit the silent prints lead on deeper and deeper. His hands trembled but from cold or fear he couldn't tell.

David's mind had gotten away from him as he walked ever following the silent haunting footsteps. He fell to his butt as a tall ash tree rose up in his way pushing him to the ground.
"Damn tree." He huffed, his breath like steam from a locomotive in the cold air. As he clambered to his feet David looked up at the tree. His breath left him with a lurch like he'd been punched in the stomach. His hands quaked as he gazed at the tree. Above his head in the trunk of the towering tree was a familiar carving. His palms tingled as he stared at his own time worn handy work.

John and David- 2 sides of the same coin 1997. His heart thundered in his ears, pounded in his throat. The carving gazed back at him like a curious creature, watching, waiting for David to make his move. The words were embedded deep into the skin of the tree. The carving had been placed there only weeks before that rainy blood stained night. Clumsily he fumbled to pull his hand free of the heavy glove that entombed it. His numb fingers grazed across the scar in the tree. Out of the corner of his eye David caught movement behind him. Gripping the gun tightly he spun on his heel, eyes dancing across the snow scanning for the source of the movement. Only snow and muffled silence answered his searching eye. Finally his eyes fell on the trail of foot prints. His eyes widened and his heart began to race. He stumbled back a few steps. Where there had been two sets of tracks before only own trail remained his own steps. Slowly his heart rate began to fall back to normal and he calmed down.

A gentle light wind blew into his face causing the light snow around him to swirl and dance. The dense grey clouds that had ushered in the snow the night before ran from the soft warm southerly wind. There was a warm familiarity to the breeze. It was clean and fresh unlike the cold gales that had blasted his face for so long. This wind was crisp and warming. This wind was spring. For the first time in a long time David looked up and felt the sun on his face. A heavy weight seemed to lift off his shoulders as he looked up at the clear blue sky. A genuine smile began to spread across his face. A peace and calm began to spread through him like the warmth of spring. He knew deep inside that his winter was ending and that spring would be there soon and with spring would come new life.
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This was a piece I wrote for a writing contest and actually placed third with it. Hope you liked it!