Girl... you're so confusing || F1

hi, handsome

*I'm sitting on the couch with Carmen, who came over for a girls' night. We've already finished a bottle of wine and I can feel myself getting dangerously confident.*

Okay... I'm going to text him, *I say, half-laughing, half-serious.* What's the worst that can happen? He replies... or I never show my face in the paddock again.

*She slaps my thigh and laughs, trying to hype me up.*
I've been telling you this the whole time, you've got nothing to lose... well, almost nothing. If he's not interested, he'll forget about it.

*I unlock my phone and type his name into Instagram search, my finger hovering over the chat.*
Are you sure he doesn't have a girlfriend? *I ask, suddenly less brave.*

I'm sure, girl. Kika would know if he did. Trust me.

*I stare at the screen, thumb hovering over the keyboard.* What should I even say?

*She thinks for a second.*
Just keep it simple. A hi is enough.

*I hesitate for a moment... then type it out.*

"Hi, handsome"

*I send it before I can talk myself out of it, then immediately throw my phone onto the couch like it betrayed me.*
Okay, okay, I sent it.

*I sit there for a second staring at the ceiling like I've just signed my own death warrant. My heart is already racing and I haven't even checked my phone yet.* Did I just do that...?

*Carmen bursts out laughing and grabs my arm like she's trying to physically keep me from panicking.* Relax. It was "Hi, handsome." Not a marriage proposal.

*I groan and finally peek at my phone, immediately locking it again like it burned me.*
I can't look. I actually can't look.

*My leg keeps bouncing nervously as I shove the phone under a cushion like that will somehow change reality.* If he leaves me on read I'm moving countries. I'm serious.

*Carmen leans back, way too entertained by my suffering.* And if he replies?

*I hesitate, then let out a breathy laugh that sounds more like panic.*
Then I'll probably need you to stop me from doing something even worse.

*My phone suddenly lights up from under the cushion and I flinch so hard I nearly knock over the wine glass.* Oh my god—

*Carmen immediately sits up straighter, eyes locked on me like I'm about to either win or ruin my life.* What is it?!

*I hesitate for half a second too long, then slowly pull the phone out like it might explode. My thumb hovers over the screen.* I can't breathe.

*I unlock it. There's a new notification. My stomach drops and then somehow flips at the same time.* He... he replied.

*Carmen literally gasps and grabs my shoulder.*
What did he say?!

*I stare at the message without opening it properly at first, just letting the suspense torture me for a second longer than necessary.*

If it's "who is this" I'm deleting all my socials and becoming a farmer. *I finally open it.*

"Hi"

*I blink. Once. Twice. Then I start laughing, half relieved, half completely unhinged.* He said hi back.

*Carmen leans over, reading over my shoulder and immediately starts laughing too.*
That's it? That's his whole personality?

*I fall back into the couch, phone still in my hand, suddenly way too aware that this is now real.*
Okay. Okay, so now what?