Pretty Things Fall Apart

Blue Light and Bad Luck

Readers POV:

I was good at being looked at.

That was the first thing you learned at Tommen.

How to hold yourself just right. How to smile like nothing ever touched you. How to laugh at the right moments, say the right things, be exactly what people expected you to be.

Perfect;but not too perfect.

Effortless;but only in a way that looked natural.

Untouchable;but still wanted.

And I was very, very good at it.

"Stop thinking so much," Aoife muttered beside me, bumping her shoulder into mine as we stood outside the house. Music pulsed through the walls, the bass was heavy enough I could feel it in my chest. "It's just a party."

"It's never just a party," I said, smoothing my hands down my outfit for the third time.

It had taken me an hour to decide on this. Not because I cared;but because I cared too much.

There was a difference.

She rolled her eyes. "You look unreal. Everyone's already inside, probably wondering where you are."

Of course they were.

That was the thing about being me.

People noticed when I wasn't there.

I pasted on a smile. "Well, we can't keep them waiting."

-

The second we stepped inside, it hit.

The heat.

The noise.

The attention.

It shifted toward me like it always did;subtle, but there. Heads turning, eyes lingering just a little longer than they should. Someone calling my name from across the room.

I smiled.

I waved.

I played my part.

"Finally!" someone shouted, pulling me into a quick hug, shoving a drink into my hand before I could even respond. "You took forever."

"Had to make an entrance," I said lightly.

Laughter.

Easy.

Practiced.

I took a sip.

It burned.

Good.

I welcomed it.

Because it gave me something I was used to feeling.

Anything but the constant, quiet voice in the back of my head counting everything—how much I'd eaten, how much I hadn't, how much I shouldn't.

I pushed it down.

Not tonight.

Tonight, I was just me.

Or at least the version everyone believed in.
-
I lost track of time quicker than i anticipated.

Before I knew it one drink turned into two, then two turned into three, and somewhere along the way I lost count and the music didn't sound so loud anymore. Or hell maybe I stopped caring.

I laughed at something I didn't hear.

Nodded at something I didn't care about.

Hell I even let someone spin me around in the middle of the living room, the music moving through my bones.