if i could live in a loop of memories, i think i would've picked a handful.
i spend a lot of time scrolling through my camera roll, memories on memories, some people i don't even speak to anymore but the joy in the moment immortalized in an image or moving clip.
i wonder what it feels like to walk away from someone like me, does it feel like pain or relief, that dealing with me is no longer a part of your day?
does it cross your mind or does it become a whisper you never can hear anymore, like in high school when someone's tapping ur shoulder for an answer on a test but you don't turn around.
i wonder sometimes why i feel so deeply and then for those who could feel deeply for me i run away
i don't find myself fearing men anymore
im afraid of the meanness that comes with them, the discard, the distance, the lack of effort but the high requirements i feel indebted to preform, love ends where intimacy stops.
i suppose that's always been my problem.
i wonder if anyone will take the time to solve it, but im not supposed to be looking for a savior.
but god do i try.
