The Problem with Dreams

Chapter 82 - Naming over Dinner

Greg arched his brow. "You intend to leave our child with the right to choose," he realized.

"Yes. Infant dedication has more to do with the parents than it does the child. During the ceremony, the parents make a promise to raise the child in a household based on faith. To lead by example, by themselves living a Christian life; that is by following the commandments of the Lord and the examples of Christ as closely as possible," Susan said.

"I agree with half of that," Greg told her.

"I thought you might," Susan said. "I was wondering about the naming ceremony your congregation practices though. Is it assumed that a child named in such a manner will be raised Jewish?"

Greg thought for a minute before answering. "You know, I'm not sure. I believe it is often assumed, however naming ceremonies for girls are often held in their homes instead of at the Temple, so that assumption may be in error."

"Why would the ceremonies for girls be held at home instead of in the temple like the ones for boys are?" Susan asked in surprise. "Since naming is part of the brit milah, I thought that part would be the same."

"You would think, however it is considered acceptable for a brit milah to be held with only the child's father present, while for a girl the mother's presence is not only expected, but required. And yet, due to an extension of the laws of niddah, by tradition a new mother usually confines herself to her home, and avoids being present in the temple until that time has passed. It is the reason mothers are often not present for the brit milah ceremony for a boy which must take place in the temple or synagogue on the eighth day of life, which is too soon for most mothers to attend," Greg explained.

"Is that the only reason?" Susan asked.

"No. When it comes to naming ceremonies for baby girls, the situation is much more complex than that," Greg told her. "That is because for a baby girl, a similar period of separation is traditionally observed for the infant herself as well as for her mother because it is known that infant girls sometimes bleed like their mothers during the post-partum period. For that reason, there is no particular timing prescribed for a naming ceremony for a girl and their mothers are expected to be present as the period of niddah would be the same for them both. Since there is also a Jewish superstition that it is un-wise to leave an infant unnamed for so long, the work around is that the ceremonies are often held in the child's home."

"That does make it sound like a Jewish ceremony," Susan told him.

"It is, but does it make the child so named, Jewish?" He paused to think about it, started to answer, then shook his head. "I don't think so, but I'm not sure. This is not something I want to mislead you about."

Susan nodded. "I suppose Rabbi Sloane would know?"

"Undoubtedly, he would. Would you be interested in something like that for Melody?" Greg asked.

"Maybe," Susan said. "I like the idea of a formal naming ceremony. But I also like the idea of promising to raise her in a household based on faith. I don't want to choose a religion for her, but I do want to raise her to know and love God, to know how to pray, to listen to God's plan for her life, and to be faithful to the teachings of scripture."

"Which ones?" Greg asked pointedly. "Do we instruct her only from those books of scripture our religions have in common?"

Susan sat back, thinking as their food came. "Isn't this the same question we faced when Jessie started school?" Susan asked.

"Not at all. We made no effort to curtail in any way what either of us read to her or taught her in regards to religion before then. We exposed her to everything, talked about everything as openly and honestly as we could. But I don't think a Jewish rabbi would be happy with such a proposal if it were to be made formally," Greg said.