The repetitive beeping of my alarm woke me from a dreamless sleep and I turned over hitting the top of the clock. Before my eyes popped open I pushed my arms above my head and stretched out my legs. I squinted at the light streaming through the gap between my curtains. It took me a few seconds to adjust to it; slowly the cupboard and shelves on my walls came into focus. The skin around my eyes was tight from unwiped tears. A familiar feeling. My legs automatically swung over the side of my bed as my arms pushed me up. It was too fast, my head started to spin and black fur bordered the edges of my vision. I could hear a light thud as my body fell back onto my bed. My vision slowly came back and I tried again, stumbling across my room to open the curtains. It was now easier to pick a safe path to my clothes boxes, the first things my hands touched was what I grabbed. Hoping not to bump into mum I moved quickly, nearly running into the bathroom and locking the door behind me. The small pile of clothing tumbled from my arms onto the floor. I turned on the shower and pulled my pyjamas off. I noticed that steam had filled the room and I quickly flicked on the fan. Before stepping into the shower, the hot water trickling over my skin and the steam in my face was comforting. The scent of my apple shampoo filled my nose as I lathered it into the roots of my hair. I let the bubbles wash down my body before I picked up my conditioner. The shower had always been my thinking place. Where I could cry without any judgement. Let my face turn red and sob to my heart’s content. My body felt heavy on my legs and I decided to sit down. I let the water pull my hair over my face, but something silver caught my eye.
