Notes for myself/ about oc's!

Lunar.

"That night. That one night that had ruined me, that ended my fantasies... I was stargazing on my balcony, because I couldn't sleep, then I saw the glint of solars rings, she was walking the courtyard, to the gate. I looked down from the stars, she wasn't supposed to leave at night, not past the gate. But she opened it without hesitation, and from the balcony she saw phantom, but he wasn't dark or mysterious, he was... happy to see... SOLAR." 1/2/19

"The gate shuts, and I back away. Solar wraps her wings around him, her forehead touching his, their laughter sickening to my stomach.
I can't bare it, I can't do it, it's NOT TRUE. SHE CANT TAKE ANOTHER THING FROM ME!
Once in my room I'm angry, upset and... confused.
I should do something about it! I told myself, only to find myself crying in the bed hours later, deeply disappointed in... everything" 1/3/19

"Everything that follows, her smile. Her wings. Her posture. Her NAME, It hurts. I hate it. I hate her. But... I can't. I never said anything. I never did anything. She didn't know. She was simply a step ahead... again. I feel the pressing need to say something to her, but when I look at her, I simply look away only able to think of myself crying shamefully." 1/10/19
-lunar. Entry 153