To Understand You

I let go of my heart, I forgot to let it whisper

You were my guide, my sin, my shadow whispering sweet nothings at my ear

Foolishly, I believed you

Every single word

To my last bitter loving tear, to understand you I forgot to fear the monster and became one myself

I tear your skin you sew on me, ripping away your influence with pieces of me

We were one, you and I

I thought our love was written in the stars

I thought you'd be the one to heal my shattered heart

I forgot to stand on my own two feet again

I got comfortable thinking you had my back

I trusted in trust falls I forgot were all a trap

To understand you, I gave you my soul and mind

To understand me, I fear I might have never known to begin with

I have looked behind the mask and the mask behind that, and I don't know anymore if there's something there or not

Maybe to understand myself, I need to understand you again, but not with rose tinted glasses

To understand you, I will look the way I did when another was on my land

To understand you, I'll rip my teeth out as you did me first, but I'll do in your flesh to see why

To understand you, I'll sit in the dark with music on loop, hoping this all wasn't just a big joke on your part