When We're Together

-L

Besides the two girls voices, not a single sound filled the apartment. But in Luísa's mind, it was anything but quiet. The pitch black outside her windows left a weight on her heart. There were no more days left, there was no more time.

"Just go," Julia took her hands and gave them a squeeze. Her legs had been asleep from sitting on Luísa's bed, trying to calm her down. "He can't expect anything from you, not after what he's done."

The burn in her nose was a constant. Though the episodes of uncontrollable crying stopped about two years ago. She knew she couldn't be an emotional mess forever. In place she focused on school and work. Things that couldn't fail.
She expected to either completely forget her high school lover, or be engaged by now at twenty one.
Instead, she was going to his release from prison. Not one word or look had been exchanged since the massacre. She tried taking comfort in the fact he didn't kill anyone, but how good was it? He planned to, and their friends did. It wasn't much better.

"What do I even say." She looked at their hands with nothing left in her eyes. It was more than numb and it had been for awhile. "Three years Juju, three fucking years and here I am waiting on his stupid ass."

She quickly forced herself up to get a sweater. The sudden movement filled her vision with black dots as she dragged herself to the closet.

"No no no," Julia crossed her arms into an X figure. "He's the one who has to do the talking and explaining."

"I have so many questions." She pushed her arms into a Pink zipper up. It felt more suffocating around her body than the last time she wore it. "Do I hug him?"

"He should be grateful if you even make eye contact honestly."

"What the shit do I even wear?" She slid hangers to analyze options.

"Ooh ooh," Julia sprung up to help. The smell of a sweet perfume rushing over her with each swipe. "Hm?"

Taking a yellow tank top off the rack, she held up. Luísa immediately took it and hung it right back up. That shirt hadn't fit in probably seven months, even then it was tight. As if there weren't enough things to dread about seeing him again. For the first time in three years.

He never made her feel anything but perfect. That much she remembered clearly. However that didn't take into account the eating disorder she fell into. Instead of forgetting to eat as he had known her to do, it was like forgot not eating.

Julia tilted her head, noticing the silence Luísa had fallen back into. Her now medium length hair was half tucked behind her ear. The exhaustion was impossible to notice and all of a sudden picking an outfit just wasn't fun anymore. The damage he had done was something neither of them could understand.

"Go to bed, Isa," Julia grabbed onto her best friends shoulders and demanded her to listen. "Whatever, and I mean whatever happens tomorrow, will all be okay in the end."

Luísa wanted to believe it, and in the back of her mind she did. Only it was becoming increasingly more difficult to not know when. What if this was the one decision that would make or break everything?

"You call me right after, and do not let him tell you how to feel about anything," Julia's arms squeezed tightly around her. "You're my strongest bitch."

With eyes pressed shut she rested her chin onto Julia's shoulder. The lightheartedness was enough for her to muster up a laugh. Their friendship was the kind that made Luísa remember she had one person on her side.
Deciding to wait on a man who assisted in the planning of her states biggest massacre wasn't great taste to those around. Her mom, Paula, vowed to never accept him as anything. Though she never really did before anyway.