I grew up strong. I am a warrior conquering every problems easily. And one way of doing that is burying worries and giving no space in my heart. Whatever comes my way, no matter how big or small that is, I never failed to show people that did conquered it.
However, as I grew up, my fears began to embrace me. So I asked myself, Did I truly conquer life's storms, or did I simply avoid them?
A major factor contributing to my ongoing struggles is my family. Their weight feels suffocating. My mom's and sibling's complaints give me anxiety attacks.
I want to disappear without a trace. I want to turn my back from them. My heart wants to do it, but my mind doesn't. I robotically follow my daily routine, and I dread going home. But hell, I have nowhere else to go to rest. I think i am stuck.
If you ask me why i feel this way, why is that my family gives me anxiety attack, simple, they are the root of it. I grew up being unwanted by my relatives. I am always told to leave. The same thing is happening on my mother's side as well.
It sucks, feeling this way. I just want to hide to everyone even from my friends. I reject their attempts to connect, shrugging off their efforts. why? — Because I grew up without experiencing those feelings.
Constant rejection makes the world seem lifeless, meaningless, and unfair.
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The Sky Between Petals
Adventure"Hi, I'm Lai! 🌸 Welcome to my little corner of the internet where I share pieces of my journey-stories, reflections, and the small things that make life beautiful. This blog is my space to grow, bloom, and hopefully inspire you to do the same."
