I woke up the next morning to the sound of a god forsaken blender, as i groaned, i rolled over to see that it was only 6:30! Who would be up at this time?
I hopped out of bed and very slowly made my way to the doors. Once i was out of my room, i made my way down the hall into the kitchen and there he was with the blender mixing up some green shake. I sat down at the island behind him and he finally noticed me before i said "Good morning."
"Morning Pipy." he replied while pouring that thick substance into a cup.
"What is that?" i said while motioning towards that, gross, horrid looking thing he seemed to be "enjoying".
He spoke up after wiping his mouth with his forearm, "Protein shake" and then i remembered, he is one of those guys, isn't he? Only at that moment did i realize he was all sweaty, and..anyway.
"How'd you sleep?" i asked him.
"Alright." he replied, "Why?"
"Well you're really sweaty, so, i thought that maybe you were-" right then i was interrupted with deep laughter.
"I went for a run Piper." He stated softly with quite an amused look plastered on his face.
He is one of those guys.
"Yeah." i spoke, "i totally knew that i was just seeing if you-" again i was interrupted, as he laughed.
"You're fine."
We sat in our usual awkward silence before i spoke up in a questionable tone.
"Can we go to the store today?"
"I have to work today, and i actually gotta go get in the shower." he stated while walking towards the hallway.
"Well can't we go when you get back?" I asked, "I need to get refills on prenatials and stuff like that, ya know?" i said hopeful that he would say yes, not only so i could get the stuff i needed but i really didn't want to eat leftovers for dinner as seeing that i was going to be eating them for breakfast and lunch.
"Sure." he smiled over at me before continuing down the hallway, to the bathroom to take his shower. I was waiting eagerly to hear the bathroom door shut before, squealing in excitement at the thought of fresh food. I was eager to take our first trip to the store because it had been ages since i was allowed to go to the grocery store and pick out things i needed, for myself, let alone food i wanted for myself. I needed to grab a few toiletry items. Deodorant, a toothbrush, a new brush, etc. Most importantly i need to get my vitamins, well, my prenatial vitamins. I'm shocked too, although, it happened four months ago, I'm still shocked. I'm sure he is as well. We don't talk much about 'the baby'. We haven't spoken much of, well, anything, until my parents asked me to leave and i needed a place to go. I'm not sure how to bring it up in conversation and when i do bring it up, we usually sit in silence or we dismiss the topic completely. I'm four months pregnant with his child and the furthest we've ever spoken about this situation was today. I have doctors appointments and things I'm going to need...things we're going to have to buy, people we're going to have to tell but i guess it's very unreal to us right now. I knew he was crunched on time, so i just decided to leave the topic alone; for another day, he wouldn't have wanted to talk anyway.
After Michael had gotten ready and left, i was left alone in the house. I wandered around for a while before, kind of, accidentally opening one of his bedroom doors. Well, maybe it wasn't on accident but the man left his house unlocked and i figured since i lived here too...i might as well explore.
He had a really nice room, it was pretty spacey and it didn't fail to surprise me that it smelled nice either. His bed wasn't made but there was something special about that, and i could't quite point it out. I saw over on his night stand that he had a picture laying down and i couldn't see who it was, i took a step closer and my eyes got wide in awe. The picture was me. He had a picture of me on his nightstand, next to his bed...where he slept. It was a picture of me from the night we first met. I was wearing a yellow, skinny strapped, sun dress with my brown hair down, and long. I didn't think it was a flattering picture but leave it to, Michael. As i was finally done thinking about him having a picture of me, i decided to turn his radio that was sitting on his dresser, THE BEST song came on and i started to dance around his room, while singing at the top of my lungs.
"All i am is a man, i want the wold in my hands"
"i hate the beach, but i stand in California with my toes in the sand."
"It's too coooooldd for you hereeee, so let me hooooold both yours hands in the holes of my sweater"
"the goosebumps start to race, the minuet that my left hand meets your waist"....
As soon as my song ended, i was terribly out of breath from all of my dancing that i spun around and sat on his bed. The next song that came on made my heart spin. It was a beautiful song and one that i always enjoyed singing. I layed back on his bed and listened while reciting the lyrics in my head, before i sang out loud,
"Will you still love me / When I'm no longer young and beautiful? / Will you still love me / When I got nothing but my aching soul? / I know you will, I know you will"
i stopped singing immediately, did i really just think that? I can't believe myself. i'm not lovable, he was only doing this because he has to. Only because of 'the baby 'not because of you, Piper. not because he wanted to, because he has to. This is how my life was going to be, sad. Michael would never do that, he does't even genuinely enjoy me. I'm just carrying his child. nothing more. My face turned bright red and i felt anxious and suddenly overwhelmed. I'm just here for now, I'm temporary. I mean, he won't even look me in the eye, or ask me how i'm feeling...I pulled my knees to my chest where i rested my chin. I don't know why i did this. I kept shaking my head when the tears finally brimmed over my eyes and i started to cry. I let out i whimper for help but i realized that i had got myself into this situation and i had to be strong enough to keep going.
It took a while to calm myself down. I was able to turn my emotions down to the point where i could stop crying but i was also getting tired and i figured that it'd be alright if i just took a short nap in his bed, i was already here and he wasn't to be home for a few hours. I would wake up before he got home and he would never know that i was in his room. I crawled up into his sheets, maybe, contemplating my actions but before i knew it i was sound asleep.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
