/mike/
finally, it was all over.
we were sat on the couch in my basement. me and el.
"thank you" i said to her, without turning my head to make eye contact.
"for what?"
"for the painting."
el turned to me. "what painting?"
i looked back at her, looking at the pure confusion in her face. "the one...you commissioned will to make for me? he showed me it."
el looked clueless for another second until she seemed to realize something.
"oh, i didn't commission him for anything. i thought he was making the painting for a girl he liked."
a girl? he liked? i had no idea what el was talking about. will never told me about any girl. he would tell me. right?
"i—i guess ill just ask him then" i said, confused as to why will lied to me.
a few days later, will and i were sat on the couch. the way we were sat reminded me of all those times in our childhood, where we sat and talked and joked. especially the time i told will, "crazy together".
"i broke up with el" i blurted out, trying to break the silence. but more silence came.
will didnt turn to me.
"why?" he broke the silence.
"i dont think im right for her...or maybe she deserves more. im not sure. i just know we arent meant to be together. i mean, we're going into college, itll just complicate everything."
will was silent for a minute or two. it felt like ten.
/will/
why would mike break up with her? did something happen that hes not telling me about? or was it really just that simple?
"why did you lie? about the painting, i mean"
i looked at mike. he was staring at the ground.
he knew. he had talked to el. found out she didnt commission it.
"i—i dont know. i wanted to give you the painting...i just didnt know—i didnt know if it would be weird"
"its not weird" he looked at me. for a moment, the golden sun broke through the blinds and hit his eyes in just the right way.
he looked at me so intensely i thought he was going to...
"is there someone you like? el—el said you liked a girl. why didnt you tell me? you can tell me anything i promi—"
"mike." i looked at him.
"will-?"
"i thought you would know me by now."
he looked confused. i cant believe he didnt know. i cant believe i was going to tell him.
"mike—i—okay you cant hate me. i think—i know you would think of me differently-"
"will, you are my best friend. i wont think of you differently."
i couldnt say it. for some reason, i couldnt tell him.
/mike/
i know what will wants to say. i want to hear him say it himself. i want him to know who he is.
because i know im the same, but i could never say it out loud.
wills eyes started welling up. i instinctively hugged him.
"i know, i know" i said, reassuring him.
"you know?"
"of course i do. will, i know you"
"please dont hate me"
"i could never hate you"
i had that terrible pulling feeling. i knew what i wanted to do. at that moment i knew for sure. but would it be weird? i couldnt do that, hes my best friend.
i pulled back from the hug.
/will/
mike looked at me with some odd look in his eyes. i couldnt put my finger on what it meant. then he did it again. he looked at my lips. but longer this time. then back at my eyes. i stared at his brown eyes.
something took over me. i lifted my hand off his shoulder and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. his eyes didnt leave mine. my hand still cupped his cheek.
he leaned in. i let him. i looked at his eyes until the moment our lips touched. it was soft, his lips on mine. it felt...right. i couldnt explain it.
he leaned back, and i opened my eyes. he started getting up.
"im—im so sorry—i didnt—i didnt mean to—"
i stood up with him, grabbed the side of his neck to turn his face towards mine. i looked at him for just a second before i kissed him. harder than before. more desperate. it was like i was hungry for him my whole life. his hands moved towards my waist. i grabbed the back of his head with one hand, rustling through his dark brown hair. the other hand was on his chest. i could feel his hearbeat speed up. i wondered if he could hear how fast and loud mine was beating.
we fell back on the couch, lips still intertwined.
when we both separated, our hands clasped together.
