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Location: Pahalgam (An hill station), Jammu & Kashmir
> "I didn’t come here to find peace. I came because I had nowhere else left to run."
The curtains swung open as the warmest wind entered through the window, casting a warm glow over her dusky skin. Sunlight exchanged glitters with the delicate design of her room, which neither seemed rich nor poor. It was an artistic attic over a room like curtains, bedsheets, and wall hangings were hand-made from the threads of quail, exchanging glows of vulnerability.
And at the corner of the room, she was sitting on a prayer mat — brows furrowed in guilt and eyes filled with tears, reciting dhikr under her breath. Each tear, brimming with shine on her face, as she made fold of her feets she again — recite ...
> "Nothing will ever happen to us except what Allah has destined for us. He is our protector. And in Allah let the believers put their trust."
— (Qur'an 9:51)
As she made the last sentence, her foot padded toward the bookshelf, inhaling a new novel over a fold of the prayer mat in her other hand.
As she was about to open that book, someone called her from behind.
> “Esra, kya tum chai piyogi?”
It was her mom; her melodious voice echoed in the corridor of their house.
Only to get heard by her kind father.
He said, “Esra beta, chai tum bhi banao. Aaj mujhe beswaad chai nahi chahiye.”
Esra chuckled softly, and he bit his tongue, earning a sharp glare from his wife.
She came out of her room, nodded her head in yes, and headed towards the kitchen to make tea for everyone.
As everyone gathered in the living area, the atmosphere was quite as usual.
The aroma of tea swirled over. Each person sat — she sat beside her Dadi,
seeking blessings. As a gesture, her Dadi tapped her head and said:
“Tumhara result he na aaj?”
“khuda kare ache no. Se pass ho jaoo”
"Ameen"— Everyone said in unison.
At the corner of the sofa, a broad figure sat there in a tense manner.
It was Dilawar, Esra’s elder brother.
She had one brothers in the joint family and two sisters — excluding her chacha-chachis and bade abbu’s kids.
Noticing his demeanour, Esra shook her head and said:
"Inhe dekh ke mujh se zyada to ye pareshan ho rahe hain. Jaise parcha maine nahi inhone fade the..."
Listening to her words,
He said, “dar tumhare result se nahi... us Shaitan se he, jo kam marks aane par mujhe datega , kahega tumhari behan chate tap kar nikla karti thi,class ke waqt chips khati thi, aur test ke din toh chhittiyan ese nikalti thi jaise usne PhD ki ho!”
“Oh bhai, uska itna sab sunna padega sirf is khargosh ki wajah se...”
She hid her face in her palms and laughed like a besharam in front of everyone.
He again said, “Abhi computer par seat no , daloonga na sari Besharmi nikal jayegi. Jao, go to your room. Result aane mein abhi 2 ghante hain. Tab tak garden mein imli khate na dikho tum.. "
Noticing everyone glaring at her, a fake tear escaped from her eyes, scrunching her face in drama. It didn’t take long.
Her chachi said,
“Arey mera bacha, tum rona ni me hu na tumhari chachi. Hum ek jaise he. Tum to kuch bhi nahi ho. Main apne school time pe principal ke takle par pan mar aayi thi aur...”
She cut off in mid-sentence as her chacha stepped in.
“Bas bas, tum chudail thi, wo nahi he. Itna farq he. Abhi chalo mera breakfast ready karo...”
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The atmosphere grew lighter as everyone made their way to their own work.
As she stepped into her room, she shut the door behind and opened her diary.
She began to write down, storms emerging within her:
> "Assalamualaikum f
me, Esra — today my eyes are moist just because my 12th result...
It wasn’t about marks, study, or academic years. It was about the past year — how I’ve gone through distraction and depression which led me towards failure. I lost the ability to reconstruct each day. I found myself deeply drowned in the verse of Quran.
Instead of studying, I woke up, read Qur’an, offered Salah, ate well, scrolled through my phone and slept in the name of God.
In all of that, I didn’t focus on Dunya over my Deen — that’s why Bhaiyaan scolds me. And they are right."
— Esra Mir
After writing all her thoughts, she kept the book on the nearby table and moved toward the wardrobe to change…
4 hours later!!!
