Just Roommates

Chapter 1- The Roommate

Lingling

"So I was going down on her, right? Things were heating up, everything was great, until I sneezed."
Faye's voice rang loud and unbothered through the booth, one elbow on the table, the other hand casually holding a mojito like she was narrating a movie plot.

Engfa nearly choked on her cocktail. "Wait, what?"

Lingling just blinked, halfway through her beer. She already regretted asking what Faye had been up to lately.

"You sneezed?" Engfa repeated, stunned.

"Yup," Faye said with a dramatic nod. "Like a full-blown, violent sneeze, directly into her..."

She trailed off, waving her fingers vaguely toward her lap. "You know..."

"Oh my God," Engfa said, covering her face. "You sneezed into her... crotch?"

"I don't know what else to call it," Faye said, completely unbothered. "I was trying to keep going, but I couldn't stop sneezing. It was like, sneeze, pause, sneeze again."

Lingling didn't speak. She shook her head slowly, bringing her glass to her lips. Sometimes, in moments like this, she questioned every life choice that led her to be friends with these two.

"It was obviously an allergic reaction," Faye continued, now gesturing to show the positioning, like this was some kind of tactical breakdown.

"Okay, but allergic to what?" Engfa asked, digging into the free popcorn the bar had placed on their table.

Faye leaned in, lowering her voice. "I only react this way when I'm around cats."

Lingling's brow furrowed. "But... she didn't have a cat, did she?"

"Nope," Faye said. "But her ex did."

Engfa and Lingling gasped at the same time, hands flying up to their mouths.

"No," Engfa said dramatically. "Don't tell me—"

"She went to her ex's place that afternoon. Apparently, they had sex. And then came to see me like it was no big deal."

"Oh wow," Lingling muttered. Faye's stories were always like this, horrifying, impossible, somehow true.

"So what did you do?" Engfa asked, eyes wide.

"I left. Obviously. Nose full of snot, half-dressed, and she's there begging me to stay while explaining and saying 'I don't know what happened, all these feelings started coming back' blah blah blah."

Engfa nearly gagged. "No, please tell me she didn't—"

"She did. She had sex with her ex with the cat in the room. Apparently, the ex has roommates, so the bedroom is the only private space. Cat included."

Lingling sighed. "Poor cat."

"Poor cat?" Faye said, looking genuinely offended. "Poor me. I'm the one who sneezed my way through foreplay and the person I am dating sort of cheated on me with her ex"

"Please," Lingling said dryly. "You were talking to other girls this whole time. You'll survive."

Faye grinned. "Yeah, but I don't sleep with them."

"Still the same sis," Lingling muttered, finishing her beer.

Faye opened her mouth to say something else, but Lingling's phone buzzed. Orm.

She stood quickly. "Hold on. I need to take this."

Lingling stepped outside the bar, the night cool against her arms as she answered. "Hi."