A Distant Memory (Remastered)

~ return ~

"8pm. Wednesday. Usual spot." He winked.

You smiled. Clinking your glasses together one more time.

The night drifted toward 1 a.m. The energy softened. No one brought up the mission. No one asked what happened. Only soft offers:

"Here if you need me."
"You know where I am."

They knew you weren't ready. And that's what you needed. Food. Drink. Familiar faces. Laughter.

For a moment, the weight lifted.

Not gone. But light enough to breathe.

And that was enough for tonight.

—----------------------------

2:47 a.m. — Avengers Compound, East Wing.

The laughter from the party still echoed faintly in your ears as you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The room was dim, only the glow of the moon spilling through the curtains. Your muscles ached with the kind of exhaustion that went deeper than the physical, and yet sleep wouldn't come.

Home. It still didn't feel real.

You turned over, tugging the comforter tighter around yourself. For the first time in a long time, the sheets smelled like safety. Like laundry detergent and warmth. But your mind refused to settle.

Then—
A knock.

Soft. Barely there.

You sat up. You already knew who it was.

Something in your chest ached before you even touched the door handle.

You cracked it open.

Thor.

He looked completely wrecked. His shoulders slumped, eyes tired and rimmed red, jaw clenched like he was holding something in. He left the gathering earlier than you did. The golden strands of his damp hair framed his face messily, and even though he didn't say anything right away, the pain in his expression was louder than any words.

"Come in," you whispered, stepping aside.

He nodded, stepping through the door like he didn't belong, like he was ashamed to ask.

You closed it gently behind him. He didn't go to the bed, just sank into the chair in the corner of your room — the same chair he sat in before, back when nights were long and terrifying in Dhaka, and he stayed up to make sure you fell asleep first.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, barely above a breath. "I just... couldn't settle. Not knowing if you were okay."

Your heart ached for him.

"I'm okay, Thor," you said softly.

"I know- I just..."

It had been his routine. Not sleeping until he knew you were. Seven months of that made separate rooms feel strange.

His eyes fixed to the floor. "I feel pathetic, Jade."

"Don't say that." 

You crossed the room, standing in front of him. You could see it behind his eyes, those tears he didn't release earlier. You stepped forward, placing yourself between his knees. He didn't look up. You bent over slightly, pulling his shoulders in for a hug, he couldn't lift his arm in the sling and his other stayed by his thigh.

His hand hovered for a moment, unsure of what to do with itself, before it gently grazed the back of your thigh. He wanted to repay your touch. Without crossing a boundary.

You felt his hesitation. Knew how much of a gentleman he was.

A soft touch. Barely there. Then his palm flattened against you as he pulled you into a hug, resting his head against your stomach.

You placed one hand gently on the back of his head, the other across his shoulders, holding him close.

"You're not pathetic," you whispered. "You're exhausted. And you've been carrying both of us for so long."

He didn't say anything, but you felt his chest rise and fall against you, slower now. Calmer.

He needed to cry. Yet still held it. You were looking after him, in this rare vulnerable moment. He felt calm. In your arms.

"You'll sleep better if you're with me," you murmured, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. "Come on. Just for tonight."

He hesitated. "I—"

You shook your head, already pulling back the covers. "Don't make me drag you, big guy."

"I'll stay in this chair."

"Get in, now."

A reluctant smile tugged at his lips as he finally rose, moving with careful, stiff steps toward the bed. He settled on the edge first, uncertain. You lay down and patted the space beside you.

With a deep exhale, he lowered himself beside you. Flat on his back, staring up. You rolled onto your side to face him.

"Sleep," you said. "I'm right here."

His eyes fluttered shut.

And for the first time in what felt like forever,

He drifted off first.

—-------------------------------

Just a few doors down, Bucky laid still, eyes staring at the ceiling. Fists clenched in the sheets, the quiet hum of the compound doing nothing to ease the buzzing in his mind. He had stayed away. He didn't want to ruin your time with everyone else by just his presence being there.

He didn't want to make things harder for you.

But now, knowing you were just down the hall and not knowing if you were okay — it gnawed at him.

He knew you weren't. He saw the change in you when you walked in with Thor. The weight you were carrying. The spark behind your eyes, gone. He was so worried about you. Yet there was nothing he could do. Until you were ready. If you ever would be.

Sleep never came.

Just memories.

The two of you.

Before everything changed.

Before the damage he caused.

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