Bawat Daan

1

They say that some paths are drawn to each other — always getting closer but will never meet, like lines that reach for one another but are never allowed to touch.

But I’ve always believed otherwise.

I’ve always believed we have a destined course. That the universe has already drawn a quiet thread between two souls long before they’ve even learned how to say each other’s names.

That no matter where life takes us —
whether we're born as strangers on opposite ends of the world, or as neighbors who pass each — we are always, always pulled back to one another.

No matter how many lives we live, no matter how many bodies we wear, how many names we have, how many times we forget the sound of each other’s voice — I believe we still find our way back. Sometimes in a glance. Sometimes in a dream. Sometimes in the way a stranger laughs and it feels like home.

And even when the world tries to keep us parallel, always close, never touching, I know we’re not just running in circles. We’re tracing a map back to each other.

Because love does not disappear. It reincarnates.

And every version of me, will always search for every version of her.

Ang aking dulo, gitna’t simula.

She is the point my soul keeps returning to — lifetime after lifetime, body after body. My beginning. My middle. My end. Na kahit pa magkanda wala-wala ako sa gitna ng buhay ay ayos lang, basta siya pa rin ang dulong patutunguhan ko.

Iyon ang pinanghahawakan at pinaniniwalaan ko noon pa man.

But I’ve wandered too many lifetimes now. I’ve searched through too many crowded streets. I’ve looked for her in laughter that felt almost familiar, in the eyes of strangers who almost carried her soul. I’ve waited in places, hoping she’d walk in — like she always does, even if she doesn’t remember me yet.

And every time I don’t find her, a small part of me flickers out. Unti-unti, ang pag-asang pinanghahawakan ko ay parang kandilang nauupos — tahimik, marahan, ngunit tuluyang nawawala.

Every lifetime stretches longer, colder. And though I keep holding on, the string tying me to that hope is thinning.

I don’t want to lose hope. But I’m slowly running out of it. And I don’t know how many more lives I can go through without finding her again.

Until today.

In between those loud waves hitting the shore, between these wild winds brushing against our skin, sa pagitan ng ingay ng mundo, kalmado ang puso ko habang nakatingin sa babaeng nasa harap ko.

Hindi ko nakikita ang mukha’t mga mata niya. Hindi ko pa nahahawakan ang mga kamay niya. Pero isa lang ang nasisiguro ko—kalmadong-kalmado ang tibok ng puso ko nang makita ko ito.

Sa dinami-rami ng buhay na pinatunguhan ko, sa dinami-rami ng hinanakit na naranasan ko, walang-wala ’yon sa kasiyahan at katahimikan na nararamdaman ngayon ng puso ko.

I don’t need to see her face to know.
I don’t need to hear her voice. Somehow, my soul already knows what my eyes haven’t seen yet.

I took a breath. And finally, I said the words I’ve been aching to say for centuries:

“Nahanap din kita...”

Unti-unting bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko nang unti-unti siyang lumingon sa gawi ko. Tila nawala ang ingay ng hampas ng mga alon, pati ang ingay ng mundo.

Parang nawalan ng saysay ang liwanag ng buwan at ng mga tala nang makita ko ang mga mata niya. Ang kinang ng mga mata niya’y parang nagsilbing ilaw sa daang tinahak ko.

Hindi pa rin nagbabago.

Nakita ko kung paano kumunot ang noo niya’t nanliit ang mga mata.

“Totoong tao ka ba?”

“Ha?” gulat kong sagot. Mukha ba akong multo?

“You’ve been visiting in my dreams for a month now. You directly instructed me to go here. So…” Huminga siya nang malalim, saka tumingin sa dagat sa harap namin. “Totoong tao ka ba?”

“Well... I don’t see your face, but you sounded like her. The one in my dreams.a You’ve been showing up night after night, messing with my head. I need answers."

Hindi ako makagalaw. Hindi ako makasagot.

“Yung tanong ko, hindi mo pa rin sinasagot.”

“Ha?”

“Alam mo, kanina ka pa ha nang ha,” sabi niya, kita ang inis sa boses. “Ang sabi ko, kung totoong tao ka ba, kako.”

“Sorry, gulat lang.” ." I sat down beside her and smiled a little. “I’m Gav. And yes... totoong tao ako.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. She offered her hand and said softly, “Ari.”

I looked down at her hand. I took it hesitantly at first, then gently intertwined my fingers with hers.

“I know. I know...” I said with a quiet sigh.
“What took you so long, Ari?”

“What do you mean?”

I looked away from her and turned my gaze to the moon, shining above us and casting light over the bench we were sitting on.

God. I’m beside the woman I’ve loved — and still loving — for so long.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” I looked at her again and smiled, softly, like it came from lifetimes of missing her. “waiting... for the past twenty-one lifetimes of mine.”

I stared at her with so much longing.
I was expecting shock. Confusion. Doubt. I thought she’d laugh, maybe question my sanity.

But instead, she asked quietly, “What happened to us, Gav?”

I let out a heavy sigh. Trying to pull the memories from deep inside me. Those moments where we were still hiding under the stars, holding hands in secret like it was a crime.
Still dancing in the dark because the world wouldn't let us shine in the light. Still whispering promises with trembling voices, afraid someone might hear. Still loving in a world that punished us for doing so.

And then the fire.

The goodbyes that never made it past our lips. The silence that followed when I woke up in another life... without her.