Reading between the lines

double dates send Max spiraling

Subconsciously, Max's fingers wandered to his wrist, the one Daniel had held. Forcefully he pushed them into the bruised skin and even through his sweater, the pain came immediately. Not strong, but the faint, stinging ache was enough to make Max focus, sort out his thoughts to the point he didn't feel like running and hiding.

Carefully he let his eyes wander to Charles, who was now wildly discussing the issue of movie choices. It allowed Max to look at him for longer than just a few seconds, surprised by the overwhelming urge to get closer, touch him again. It was itchy, burning under his skin, clashing with the fear of what would happen if he actually would. It scared Max.

How much he wanted Charles and how much his body protested against that need. His heart pounded against his chest, a steady, but brutal pace as if it was telling him no.

No, no, no-

He swallowed, noticing how tense he'd gotten. An old feeling, tied to painful memories. All of them spilling over, swamping his mind, as his eyes traced the lines of Charles' face. That sharp jaw. Those perfectly arched lips. That beautiful, angled nose. Those deep, green eyes and the thick lashes framing them.

The tears came before Max could do anything about them, but try and keep them from spilling. Aggressively he blinked, clenching his teeth to the point of hurt. No way. He wasn't going to cry now, have everyone notice and ruin their night. His vision was still veiled, but Max could see the shapes of his friends. How they laughed and gestured, hearing their raised voices and light tones. He wasn't going to ruin that. He could keep it in.

"Hey, Max!" Charles turned to him, just as Max's sight finally cleared and a fake smile appeared on his face, leading the older man to believe that everything was alright. "What do you think?"

"Hm?" Max had no idea what was going on, but upon facing three pairs of eyes, all watching him expectantly, he pretended that he did. "Yeah, sounds good."

His voice was thinner than he would've liked, but Lando and Oscar seemed to miss the small detail, both cheering as Oscar started the movie Max had obviously just agreed on watching. Charles groaned.

"Seriously, Max? I thought you were on my si-" Charles' voice broke off, his eyes narrowing as he really looked at Max.

The Dutchman panicked - had he not been hiding his near-breakdown well enough? - and widened his smile, really trying to make it look genuine. He even added an arched brow. It didn't fool Charles, who drew closer, his head close to Max so he could whisper to him without anyone overhearing them. Still Max threw a nervous glance across Charles' shoulder, soothed when he found Lando and Oscar cuddled up, their gazes already glued to the TV.

"Are you okay?" Charles's tone was serious, his eyes searching Max's eyes for the answer.

"Yeah, I just-" Max opted for a lie, still not wanting to ruin anyone's night.

Especially not Charles'. He'd been so excited for tonight, texted Max all day and sent him pictures of his and Oscar's preparations. It wouldn't be fair of Max to dump all his issues on him now.

"Just?" The concern in Charles' voice had grown, his knitted brows creasing his forehead. This was going into the exact direction Max had wanted to avoid.

"It was a long day, way too many annoying customers... I'm just tired." Upon seeing the doubt flash through the green eyes, Max added, "I swear."

For a moment longer, Charles looked at him, but when Max's smile didn't fall and he felt like he could believe him, he released a long breath, that desired smile making an appearance. He shook his head, before leaning back in.